How To Know If You're In Love With Someone You Won't Be With Forever
When you are in love with someone and you know it is going to last, you approach the relationship as two individuals who are able to maintain their separateness while also moving through life together. But as for how to know if you're in love with someone you won't be with forever, the feelings you bring to the relationship are expressed a bit differently. If you're in love and it isn't forever, it's easier to feel yourself dissolve into the relationship. Experiencing this kind of love can feel like forgetting where you end and the other person begins.
Even though your love is real, you know it isn't a binding contract. You might feel yourself vibrating at a frequency so high that you feel like your relationship is on a tenuous string that might, at any moment, snap. You know it won't last forever because something is off with the energy of the relationship, which makes it feel like it won't be sustained. Even though you might feel like you're on shaky footing, you are completely convinced that this relationship is worth the heartbreak that will probably happen. And it is. If you're in love with someone you won't be with forever, you learn things that no other love can teach you about what you look for in a partner and what you bring to a relationship. Catch the lesson here, for sure.
Here's how to know you are in love like this:
1. You'd Do Anything For Them
If you're in love and it won't last forever, you probably feel a bit captivated by it. You would go above and beyond the call of duty for your partner. If your partner was Matt Damon, you'd be Tom Hanks trodding across war-torn Europe to rescue them. In a sustainable relationship, you or your partner would be like, “Hold up, is this the most practical way to approach this situation?” In a love that won't last forever, you aren't concerned by practicalities. You are steered by the wheel of your feelings.
You might know intellectually that a sustainable love doesn't require you to overextend yourself, but you still feel motivated to do everything and anything for your partner that they might need. Part of this kindness is definitely motivated by your love for them, but an equally large part is fueled by the fear that you might lose them. Deep down you already know that this love isn't going to last forever, and you feel like you need to give your everything to it while you still have time.
2. When You're With Them, You Lose Track Of Time
When you are with a loved one, it's pretty common to feel the hours flying by, but with this particular loved one, entire days and weekends quickly slip away. You might find yourself neglecting your work because you are so caught up in your relationship. You might even feel like your relationship is running through your fingers — the more time you spend with them, the more of your time together is slipping away.
If you're in love and it won't last forever, you throw yourself entirely into your relationship. You want to experience this person fully and are immediately willing and able to explore all the levels of the connection you have together. That's why you're going to learn so much from this period of time you spend together, and perhaps one of the reasons why it will hurt so much when it's over.
3. You Connect On An Emotional Level, But Not A Practical One
In this kind of relationship, you might feel like you have found your soulmate or your perfect reflection. You “get” one another on a deep spiritual and emotional level. The passion and intellectual connection are also there, but you might feel the relationship is lacking something stable and fundamental. It isn't grounded, and you understand that you need a missing element to build a life with someone.
Money problems might plague your relationship or make its terms inconvenient. One or both of you might not be in a position financially to completely sustain and take care of yourselves, let alone one another. You probably meet one another in a period of transience, where one of you is traveling or perhaps in temporary housing. This lack of foundation is one of the reasons why you ultimately won't be together forever, and it will provide you with important information about what is necessary to actually create a future together.
4. You Know They Are Important To Your Growth And Self-Discovery
You understand that you were meant to experience this fiery, intense, passionate love for your own health. This relationship might help your resolve certain questions around your worth and heal old wounds connected to doubting your own lovability. Together, both you and your partner will affirm to one another that you are worth wanting. You understand one another's hearts and feel invested in how you will both develop. If you're in love, you truly want the best for your partner.
You might have the sense that the two of you will stay in one another's lives even after the relationship is over. Perhaps there are certain things that you can continue to learn from one another as friends. Even though your relationship might experience some heartbreak, when it's over, there will also be a sense of clarity and a hope of more healing and repair. You have a feeling that you will circle back around to one another, even if it happens in a different time.
Whatever you are learning now, you also understand that a part of the growth you have to do involves separating yourself from the relationship so you can eventually continue the journey toward self-discovery on your own. That doesn't make you love them any less or reduce the value of the relationship in any way, shape, or form. Just because a love doesn't last forever, doesn't mean it isn't worth it.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!