14 Real Men Explain Whether They Prefer Oral Sex Or Intercourse
Everyone has their sexual preferences, and that’s OK.
Ever wondered if your boyfriend secretly wished you could stop having penetrative sex completely in favor of an endless supply of blow jobs? For those amenable to the BJ, it seems they can never get enough oral action. Why do those guys like blow jobs so much, you ask? In part, the reason comes down to more than just the physical sensation — it’s also mental. Pro Domme and sex expert Ruby Payne previously explained to Bustle that when it comes to blow jobs versus sex via penetration, oral sex fulfills a whole different set of desires. “Oral sex gives men the chance for a bird’s eye view of their partner working their magic,” Payne said. “It’s like you’re starring in your own personal porn film. Plus, knowing that someone is focusing solely on you and your pleasure is one heck of a turn on.”
But not everyone with a penis is so enthusiastic about being the center of attention. Some researchers have found that many straight-identifying men are more curious about oral sex (both giving and receiving) than they may let on, in part because of perceptions that their partner won’t enjoy it. In 2017, the Journal of Sex Research published a study examining orgasm patterns in adult same-sex and mixed-sex couples. According to PsyPost, the study found that “men in mixed-sex relationships were the most likely to desire receiving oral sex more often. They were also the most likely to say they would like to perform oral sex on their partner more often. Women in mixed-sex relationships, on the other hand, obtained less satisfaction from providing oral sex than the other three groups.”
But for now, let’s get back to the question about your BF giving up penetrative sex for the blow job equivalent of Olive Garden’s unlimited breadsticks. Is anyone really that bananas for blowies? Plenty of people on Reddit have probed their communities in search of answers to that very query, and while the responses were surprisingly wide-ranging, one thing’s for certain: Love them or hate them, everyone has a lot of feels about blow jobs. Read on to learn about all the reasons why a guy might prefer a blow job to intercourse (and vice versa).
Here’s Why Some Men Prefer Blow Jobs
Some guys love the domination of a good, old-fashioned blowie:
I can pretty much nail it down to a domination and power-trip thing. Sex is intimate, but oral sex is intimate subservience. Rougher blowjobs only emphasize this power disparity, which makes them (for me) more appealing.
I prefer blowjobs. It's a dominance thing.
Some guys want to sit back and relax every once in a while
I prefer receiving oral. I think it's because I don't have to perform, and can actually open up. It's hard to be yin and yang at the same time, and yin is definitely the more pleasurable role in sex.
A BJ allows me to basically get taken care of by my girl with her in charge.
I do [prefer oral sex], mostly because I hate doing all the work all the time during sex and I like just sitting back for once. Also, sex in general isn't all that pleasurable really to me. It's OK and all, but to be honest nothing exciting.
And some guys find oral sex more intimate
I would give up sex for oral any day of the week. Sex to me is much less... personal. You can want to have sex because you want to get yourself off and not think about the other person. Oral is a giving experience. You have to listen to their sounds, follow their movements to make them feel good. Sex is just rubbing your naught bits together. Oral, to me at least, requires more of a closeness than sex does.
Definitely oral. And I prefer giving oral (or whatever my partner takes as, "Relax and enjoy. This is all about you"). If she happens to love vaginal, cool. But most of my partners prefer other ways, so I enjoy what they enjoy. Whatever brings the most pleasure is my favorite. For me, it's receiving oral. Mutual selfishness.
Here’s Why Some Men Penetrative Sex
Some guys feel weird sitting around while someone does something for them
Vaginal for me. I've never finished from oral, plus I don't like having people just do things for me, so I always feel a bit weird about it.
Way more into PIV. Blow jobs are nice, but I feel like I'm just sort of waiting around. With PIV we both get pleasure and we can also make out and stuff. I also get to do something besides twiddle my thumbs
Some guys get turned on by a girl enjoying herself
I much prefer sex. Her enjoying herself turns me on and that's not exactly part of blowjobs (not to say I'll turn one down).
I don't mind the occasional blowjob, like if it's moon week or whatever, but I generally prefer to have sex so she can enjoy it as much as I do.
I would have to say intercourse. I feel like unless she really likes blowjobs and gets off on them (my fingers or a toy simultaneously) I tend to feel kinda bad about a BJ without her getting off. That’s one reason that PIV is more fun because she gets off.
And some guys have a hard time finishing during blow jobs
I've had some horror stories of blow jobs in the past, so I have this mental block about them. I can't really enjoy it, and I keep bracing myself for the teeth grind. I would much prefer to go down on her, then move into PIV, and skip the BJ. I get all my enjoyment out of her pleasure anyways, so it isn't a problem for me.
Blow jobs are fine, but I’ve only had one orgasm I think just from oral sex. I find vaginal sex to be most arousing for me. I also prefer to orgasm inside my GF, rather than pull out and do all that stuff. I just enjoy and get more excited from sex more than oral.
— /u/Gisgo
Everyone has their sexual preferences, and that’s OK. As long as there’s solid, generous, and free-flowing communication between you and your partner, it’s usually best to explore a whole bunch of things to discover what you can both enjoy — whether you use your mouths, your hands, or your other body parts — together.
Study:
Blair, Karen. L; Cappell, Jaclyn; Pukall, Caroline. F. (2017) Not All Orgasms Were Created Equal: Differences in Frequency and Satisfaction of Orgasm Experiences by Sexual Activity in Same-Sex Versus Mixed-Sex Relationships. The Journal of Sex Research, https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2017.1303437
Expert:
Ruby Payne, Pro Domme and sex expert for UberKinky
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
