If they drop a 😉, then they're def feeling flirty.
The cutie you've been eyeing at your go-to coffee shop finally asked you for your number. You go, baddie. But after exchanging a few friendly messages, you’re still not sure what is considering flirting in a text from them. One second it's winky faces and cute emojis, the next it's radio silence. Luckily, relationship experts say there are signals you can spot from texting that someone is flirting, and they're not difficult to pinpoint.
But before we dive into all the signals this cutie is undoubtedly flirting with you, it's important to note that if they're coming onto you and you're not having it, you shouldn't be afraid to let them know. "If you don't feel the same way after receiving a flirtatious text, respond, but more in a quick, generic tone," cyber-dating expert Julie Spira tells Elite Daily.
Simply let the person know that you're flattered, but not interested and you wish them the best. "It's miraculous how well clear and direct communication works, if you actually use it," Damona Hoffman, host of The Dates & Mates podcast, tells Elite Daily. If you are here for their possible flirting but want definitive signs they’re into you, then here are five foolproof ways to figure it out.
Sure, you and your friends may exchange every emoji from the eggplant to the crown on a daily basis, but when someone uses them in flirty texts, it could actually mean they're trying to amplify their message.
"They are mood modifiers that tell you how to interpret texts," Hoffman explains. "For example, if they say something that sounds direct, and then add a winky face emoji, they are kidding with you (which is one of the oldest forms of flirting). If they send anything with a kissy face emoji, that is a sure sign of a flirt."
Fran Greene, licensed clinical social worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, agrees with Hoffman. "Emojis are definitely a signal to anything that feels loving, romantic," she tells Elite Daily. "[They're] just ways to show that somebody is interested in you." So, it’s safe to say the 😉 meaning from a guy or 😉 meaning from a girl is a sure sign that some major flirting is happening.
Up there with emojis, GIFs can also directly point to flirting, Hoffman says. They may seem silly, but if you think about it, there's a GIF out there for literally everything you may be feeling or thinking.
"[They're] some of the best ways to flirt with someone because you can be so specific in your search, and they capture the emotion, without saying the words," Greene explains. So, instead of brushing off the next GIF you get from a possible romantic interest as unimportant, keep in mind that it may actually be a sign they're capital-F Flirting.
When you're first starting to get to know someone via text, you may think that if they're not replying right away, they're not interested, but that's not necessarily always the case. "Even though we live in a world [where] everything is instantaneous, the texts don’t have to come back instantaneously," Greene says.
The more important thing about your texts is that the conversation flows, which can be a clear-cut signal that the person you're texting is flirting with you. "There's a very nice flow, and you never feel that you are waiting, and hoping, and wishing, and they say what they mean and they do what they say," Greene elaborates.
While this signal may be one of the more difficult ones to spot because it's not usually as direct as compliments, emojis, and GIFs, it can be the most telling. "There's no question in your mind that this person has some interest, and they are equally interested in who you are," Greene continues. Another signal to keep an eye out for? Random texts about something they know you like, like an upcoming exhibit or art show, and an invitation to attend together.
A conversation that is short and abrupt can be a bad sign. You’ll know when your crush is flirting when they keep the convo going and it’s “deeper and [more] meaningful” than just a simple “K” text, as certified counselor and dating expert Jonathan Bennett previously told Bustle.
Also, if the person you're crushing on has admitted that they don’t like texting and they still make an effort with you to keep the convo going, that’s when you’ll really know you have their interest.
If you notice these five signals in your texts, and you want to make sure they know you feel the same way, there are a few things you can do to move things along. "Make sure to respond back quickly, and mirror their texts with similar emojis to give them the digital nod that it’s OK to keep the flirty texts coming your way," Spira advises.
Hoffman agrees, and goes a step further. "Drive toward a date," she recommends. "Rather than getting stuck in what I call 'the texting trap,' say something like, 'I'll tell you all about that when I see you in person.'"
If they're picking up what you're putting down, you'll be on a date in no time. Try not to overanalyze too much and just respond in a way that feels natural. Most of all, try to enjoy the fun that comes with getting to know someone new. This might be the start of something great, so take a deep breath, be yourself, and stay positive. You never know where this stage might lead.
Julie Spira, cyber-dating expert
Damona Hoffman, host of The Dates & Mates podcast
Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and dating expert
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
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