5 Signs You're Actually The Problem In Your Relationship, According To A Guy

by Michael Kyle

It's hard to admit you may not be perfect, and you're actually preventing yourself from having a meaningful relationship. Most people are unaware they may be the problem, and that it's causing them to have issues when it comes to relationships.

It takes a certain level of self-reflection and self-awareness to move past problem behaviors.

If you move through life quickly – without taking a second to stop – most likely, these issues will go unnoticed.

Well, today is the perfect day to start reflecting. Here are five signs you're actually the problem with your relationship:

1. Similar issues have happened in the past.

The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Yes, re-read that and take it in.

Do you find yourself always having the same issues with guys? Well, then most likely, it's you and not them.


There's nothing wrong with you, but if the issues that continue to arise go unchecked, they will continue to happen.

Look out for a pattern.

This is what you need to focus your attention on in order to move forward. There could be some deep-rooted issue that prevents you from having a meaningful relationship in that area.

2. You date the same type of guy, but it never works out.

I've had so many people tell me about the types of guys they date on the regular. Physically, they are dating different people, but mentally, they are pursuing the same type of guy.

Basically, they're dating one person over and over again, and then wondering why it never works out. That's definitely a personal problem.

There may be some unhealthy attraction to a type of guy who treats them badly.

The majority of people do this without even realizing. So, if you're constantly dating the bad guy and it never works out, it's definitely an issue that needs to be examined.

3. You're constantly broadcasting your relationship on social media.

There's added pressure of broadcasting your relationship online that adds an unnecessary standard to it. When you start posting about your boyfriend online constantly, it makes other people participate in that relationship.

This adds pressure to act a certain way or be a certain way for others, which could lead to self-sabotage.

Developing a new relationship should be between the two of you, not the whole world. This will ensure things happen as they should, without added pressure from the outside.

Only when things become serious should others be notified of the relationship.

4. You plan boring dates.

Don't fall into the “Netflix and chill” routine. Planning dates is very important because a date is an opportunity to show you care.

Some couples fall into the pattern of just hanging out together at each other's places.  


This ruins the magic of a relationship. One of the reasons your relationships never work out is because you don't get creative with your dates.

Dinner and a movie is fine from time to time, but it gets old after a while. If you find guys telling you they don't feel a spark anymore, maybe you should examine what you're doing together.

This is an opportunity for you to get creative. 

5. You haven't dealt with your baggage.

People get caught up in their stories, and those stories define who they are in the present moment. There may be issues from the past that – if they go unnoticed – dictate the future.

Until you deal with these issues, they're going to keep arising in any relationship. Relationships act as a mirror into the self.

You will bounce your insecurities off your partner, and he or she will project his or hers onto you.

If you're not confident in yourself, this will be intense. It's important to look at each relationship as a new beginning.

The past is the past: All we have is the present moment to create something new.