Unrealistic Dating Expectations From Social Media
Pretty much everyone has something to say about it, so you know what that means: lots and lots of BS.
Don't get me wrong; some people actually know what they're talking about... some people around this site, even (hmm).
But lots and lots of crazy advice gets trafficked around the internet. Now, I don't claim to be an expert by any means, but as someone who spends an excessive amount of time on social media – even for a Millennial's standards – I see the most popular pieces of advice, mostly in the form of viral tweets.
Some of the myths around dating are just not worth the hype, though, and I can tell they create totally unrealistic expectations.
Here are six of them you need to let go of ASAP:
1. You don't hate all men.
Alright, I'm not going to argue with you about the reason you like bashing men. But I AM going to argue with you about whether or not you should turn that man bashing into an "all men suck" mantra.
Come one now: You can't just hate all the men. Even the most popular users who get you guys riled up about hating men don't hate all the men.
Need proof? Let me give you the tale of two tweets.
Don't believe the hype.
2. The amount of money you spend on a date isn't THAT important.
I'm old enough to remember when the social media topic du jour was whether or not a $200 date was necessary to impress someone. Now, most people seem to agree $200 is a little excessive.
Still, even if they don't spend $200, there are definitely people out there self-conscious about whether they've spent enough or had enough spent on them.
To that, I say "Stop it."
Literally all you need is a good place to get drinks. Then, you're fine... especially for a first date.
After that, there are a whole bunch of date ideas people will say are trash (but are actually pretty smart).
3. There's really only one "fly-out" rule.
I was just chillin', minding my own business the other day when all of a sudden, I noticed a new discussion flowing down my timeline: fly-out rules.
Like, there were literal advice threads about how people should properly go about visiting their hookups.
See? I wasn't playing.
Now, even though the topic is funny as hell, there's only one legitimate fly-out rule: Don't do it.
Don't waste money buying anyone a ticket, and don't put your own safety at risk by accepting one either, for the love of God.
4. Just because you're smart, that doesn't mean you're desired.
Allow me to explain a certain Twitter trend.
Ever so often, women get accused of not really wanting "smart" guys. Each time, that conversation is usually sparked by one salty guy who's mad women don't want to talk to him.
And each time, Twitter usually lays the smackdown on that guy.
The lesson? Just because you're "smart," it doesn't mean you can be corny. Don't expect women to like you.
Nah, bruh. Get you some swag.
5. "Submissive" women actually exist.
I've talked before about how there's really nothing wrong with the idea of a "submissive" woman in a relationship, especially if your definition of "submissive" isn't archaic.
I mean, I have friends who actually "want" a guy worth submitting to. The key word is "worth," though.
Again, you can't be out there expecting submission when you don't even have your shit together.
6. Women don't have to wait for men.
If you actually think about any of your conversations with your friends about dating, you might notice some of the problems come down to gender roles.
No, seriously. That's why a tweet like this could go viral.
I say this with no shade whatsoever: Um, you can actually take control too. It's 2017.
The general idea of women taking control is not as farfetched as it once was. There's no reason why this concept should be slow to extend to the dating world.
Instead of trying to prove you're worthy of a date, you could ask to go on a date too... and waste less time, at that.
You could also go up to any guy you're interested in at a bar, or even slide into someone's DMs. Ain't no shame in that.
And if you think that's a lot of work? Well, welcome to our world.