I recently matched with a guy on Bumble who refused to make actual plans with me. But he would message me at 10 p.m. sporadically asking me what I was doing. Um, I'm living my life. What are you doing?
Finally, I told him that if he wanted to hang out with me, he would have to make plans in advance. Surprisingly, I never heard from him again. My hypothesis: His weird refusal to make plans was one of the signs he just wants to hook up.
Yes, there are a few signs that indicate the person you swiped on is not looking for anything serious and probably just wants to hook up with you. But what are they?
Here are some messages you might get when your Tinder match is just trying to have sex with you.
1. "Want To Get A Drink Right Now?"
A person who doesn't plan in advance is either someone who is super spontaneous, nervous about going on a date, or is just looking to hook up. If this person is an adult in their mid-20s or older, then most likely, this is a person just looking to bang.
A person who's truly interested in getting to know you will plan something out if they want to see you, whether it's coffee, cocktails, or dinner. But if this match is just looking to get some action in, then they will consistently ask for last-minute plans pretty thoughtlessly, because that's how they're approaching a relationship with you.
Is that what you're looking for? Set the bar higher, babe.
2. "Do You Like To Have Fun?"
No Tinder match, I like having a horrible time, all the time. Of course I like to have fun.
In the context of dating app land, though, "fun" can only mean one thing: sex. So if someone immediately asks you if you're down for a good time, then that means they're being gross. So if you're down for that, then don't respond.
3. "You Up?"
"You up?" is the booty call-iest of booty call messages.
If someone asks you if you're up, they're not wondering because they wants to do something chivalrous for you, take you out to a five-star meal, or give you an engagement ring. They don't want to make sure you're awake for a bouquet of flowers about to be delivered to your house, and they don't want to stop by with a cute puppy for you to play with.
If your Tinder match asks you if you're up any time after 10 p.m., then they are definitely just looking for a good time... which is fine if you're just looking for some sex, too. But if you're looking for something serious, then swipe left and save yourself the trouble.
4. "Do You Want To Hook Up?"
This is self-explanatory, right? When someone has courage to just cut to the chase about what they want, you kind of have to respect them at least a little bit.
Sometimes, someone will say in their bio that they're only looking for hookups. So a general rule of thumb when it comes to dating apps is to actually read the bio. And if someone straight up asks you if you want to hook up, that's probably all they want. (So there's no use holding on to that hope for something more serious.)
A person who is relationship-minded doesn't mention sex until you do. So if you ever feel like a booty call, you probably are. And if your match asks you verbatim if you want to hook up, then yeah, they're probably not looking for a wife right now.
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