4 Things You Should Do After Your Breakup Instead Of Looking For A Rebound

by Chelsea Blake

I will never be able to understand how people can jump from serious relationship to relationship without taking a second to breathe. One minute, they're madly in love with their SO. The next day, it's over and they've moved on to the next one.

Um, seriously?

Here's a little perspective for you: My ex and I broke up a few months ago, after years of being together. I'm single. I'm enjoying my free time and seeing what's out there.

What about him? He's been with the same girl since only days after we broke up.

That shit baffles my mind.

Am I ready to dive into a new relationship? Not at all.

I couldn't imagine dating someone so soon after being with someone else for so long. As much as I like being in a relationship, I'm not against getting to know someone and seeing what happens.

Until then, I'll just chill over here and see if someone catches my eye. I'm still healing, and moving on too quickly is not the way to go.

After a breakup, you are a new person. There's no doubt about that. It changes you, and with that change, you need to learn about this new person you've become.

Adding a new person into the mix will only prolong this process. This is not to mention the fact that you need time to process the breakup and move on.

It's like healing after being physically hurt. But emotionally, it's still the same.

So, instead of moving on too quickly, here are the things you should do after a breakup:

1. Reflect on your failed relationship.

Reflect, but don't dwell. Figure out what went wrong and what mistakes you made.

Once you've determined the problem, fix it. Work on what you did, so that the next time, you won't repeat the same mistakes. You will be able to avoid these problems.

You can learn a lot from looking back on your past relationships. You can find something to fix every time. In this way, once you're ready for a new relationship, you're a better you than you were before.

2. Find yourself.

After being with someone for so long, you become accustomed to having this person around and depending on him or her. Without realizing it, your personality has altered to match this person's.

So, you're slightly different than you were before. Well, it's time to become an independent person.

Take time to do things on your own. Learn to like it.

Don't count on people to hold your hand every step of the way. Being single is the best way to really get to know yourself again. Spend some time adventuring and being alone with your thoughts. You never really know everything that's going on in your head.

3. Take time to grow.

If your relationship failed, chances are, you weren't growing too much. Focusing on yourself and your life goals is 100 percent easier when you're not also thinking about someone else.

You have no one else to worry about. If you focus on your own wants and needs, being the person you want to be starts to come easily.

4. Let your heart heal.

Breakups not only fuck with your head, but they also fuck with your heart. Being able to trust someone with your heart after a bad breakup isn't easy. It takes time.

There's no way you're ready to move on to a new relationship too soon after a breakup. It's like super glue: You can glue the pieces together, but if you move too quickly, it will remain broken.

It needs time to heal its pieces, as do you.

If you're dealing with a breakup, don't rush into anything. Replacing someone is not the answer, and you will eventually end up hurt because you didn't deal with your emotions. It's time to face your feelings, deal and move the fuck on.