Julien L. Balmer

3 Dating Taboos That Millennials Finally Need To Put To Rest


What if you meet the love of your life, and he or she is dating someone else?

The dating world has really put a taboo on dating around, and suddenly everything has become cheating.

While I don't condone cheating, I think we may be approaching this dating stuff from the wrong angle.

Here are a few life lessons I have learned from generations of happy marriages in my own family and the taboos that should be put to rest:

1. If the person has a boyfriend or girlfriend, walk away.

The rule goes, if he or she has a girlfriend or boyfriend, then don't even give the person the time of day and don't be his or her friend.

Just walk away.

This is a sticky situation, but at 24 years old, how are you supposed to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?

I don't even know what career I want to pursue or what I want to order for lunch.

How are you supposed to have a grand plan for your life when every day life and your dreams are changing?

Every day, you become a new person with the ability to do anything.

I've met countless people who were dating others when they met "the one," even my own parents.

They met in college, and my mom was still dating her high school sweetheart when she met my dad.

She told him, and for a little bit she just dated both. Then, she realized the hunk of a man my dad was and chose him.

It is one thing when a person lies, but if you are honest with both parties, then there is no shame in the game.

How do you know if you will meet the person you're meant to be with, but you're with someone else?

Keep your eyes and your heart open. Loyalty is important, but so is following your heart.

2. Never date your friend's love interests.

I would love to break this one down.

Of course, you should never date your BFF's first love whom she dated for 5 years and who shattered her heart to pieces.

However, in our parent's generation and those before, it wasn't totally unheard of to date people your friends had gone on dates with.

A date is not a marriage proposal.

If your friend didn't hit it off with Mr. Charming, but you did, why must he be off limits?

Unless your friend is crying endlessly over Mr. Charming, then why is this such a big deal?

In most cases, this friend has moved on and is dating other people.

At the end of the day, it's an ego bruise. I get it, and it should be avoided when necessary.

However, I think the big difference is that our parent's generation kept it a little more PG on the first couple dates.

Maybe they had kissed said love interest, or maybe it had just been dinner a couple times.

This lack of intimacy made it more acceptable for the date that was a dud to date his or her friends or acquaintances.

I think that's how dates should be. Just because someone isn't sticking his or her tongue down your throat or grabbing your butt, it doesn't meant the person doesn't like you.

Maybe the person wants to know your mind first.

That can be just as seductive, Generation-Y, and it would result in a lot less hurt feelings.

3. Don't date more than one person at once.

I laugh every time I remember my grandma telling me the story of how she met my grandpa.

He was the great love of her life.

She passed away last year at 91, but my God, she was a firecracker.

Grandma told me she knew the second she met my grandpa he was "the one."

He asked her to marry her on their first date, when she told him, "Say something!"

Guess what?

Grandma also confessed she dated three men up until the day she married my grandpa at 19.

"Well, what was I going to do? Sit around and wait for him while he was at work? No way!"

On Tuesdays she went dancing with Bob, on Wednesdays she went to the movies with Rick and on Thursdays she got milkshakes with Tim.

She enjoyed their company, and they were young.

Of course, Grams didn't go around kissing all these men, but they kept her company.

Come wedding day, there was never a doubt in her mind that my Grandpa would be her friend and lover forever.

Commitment is a big deal, so maybe you should date around, have fun, enjoy your youth and never settle.

When you meet the right person, you won't have to question things so much, and the trust will be innate.

Call me crazy, but for some people, not following these rules and throwing caution to the wind actually worked in their favor.

Stop caring what everyone else thinks, stop checking all your social media platforms and stop obsessive stalking.

Just be, and if it happens, let it happen.

If you miss someone and enjoy his or her company, then put yourself in his or her company.

Heck, be wild and call that person.

Most importantly, don't miss out on a magnificent love for complacency.

Marry the person who drives you insane.

Marry the person you just can't get enough of.

Marry your best friend.