6 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Turn Your Summer Fling Into A LDR
For some reason, summer seems to be the most romantic of all the seasons.
Maybe it's the great vibes we get from the freedom that summer brings. Maybe it's the fact that there are endless possibilities of exciting events and parties to attend. Either way, there's just something sexy in the air during the summer.
That being said, we've all experienced that one summer when you met someone you instantly hit it off with. The two of you spent the romantic summer nights cuddling by the fire, splashing each other in the pool and drinking margaritas on the beach.
For those three months of the warm sun beating on your skin, everything seems perfect. It's almost as though time has stopped and you're just being young, wild and free.
That is, until the weather starts to cool down and fall is upon you.
Then, you're left with the big question: Where the hell is this summer romance headed? Especially when you and your summer fling live in different places.
You start to ask yourself whether or not this "relationship" is just that or if it's just a summer fling. You might be someone who wants it to go further or you might have just been having fun.
When you're faced with what seems like the question of the summer, there are a few things to consider that might make your decision to make your relationship into an official long-distance relationship or not a bit easier.
1. What kind of plans do you make together?
Think about the type of plans the two of you made together. Did you spend more time in groups or separately? Did he always want to be out drinking with a huge group of friends? Was he cool spending some downtime with you staying in for the night and enjoying a nice night of Netflix?
To me, it's important that someone I'm about to enter a relationship with -- especially if it would be long distance -- will make time for just the two of us as well as balancing time with friends and hanging out as a group.
I don't want someone who will be smothering me and will get mad when I want to hang out with just friends but on the other hand, your summer fling should also want to spend one-on-one time with you.
If he opts for one-on-one time with you, that's great, but you also have to think about what kind of plans the two of you have. Does he take time to wow you and treat you like you deserve to be treated or does he just try to take you home and spend the night tangling tongues?
While sex is obviously a necessity in a relationship, that shouldn't be what it's all about. You two should still be able to go out in public and go on fun summer dates together without the pressure of getting with him after it.
2. What kind of conversations do you have?
Obviously in every relationship, communication is major. If you don't have communication with your partner, you don't have much. This is exactly why the type of conversations you're having with your summer fling are so important especially when determining if you could last in a long-distance relationship with this person.
Even as the summer is ending, is he still asking about your life trying to learn more about you or did that stop after he found out your basic information? Does he still ask about how your day went and how you're feeling?
A big difference between a summer fling and a long-distance relationship is that in a real relationship, your significant other should actually give a shit about your day-to-day life, not just care about when he'll be able to see you next to get drunk and have sex with you.
3. Is he someone you want to be with even without the summer festivities?
Like I said, summer is filled with fun and exciting activities whether it be jet skiing, tubing, tanning on a boat, bonfires, cookouts, the list goes on. Obviously when you're spending every day having the time of your life, it's easy to get along with someone and to fall for them more and more as the days go on.
When trying to figure out whether this fling will go past summer, you have to picture yourself in the dead of winter keeping the spark alive with this person -- from across the state or across the country. Do you think that's something the two of you could make happen?
Even when you're not surrounded by sunshine, friends and fruity drinks, is he someone you still want to be surrounded by? If yes, then it sounds like you're feeling pretty serious about turning this fling into a real thing.
4. Can you see him being someone that you can deal with the hard times with?
For the most part, people are pretty happy and positive during the summer months. Chances are you and your summer fling don't spend much time fighting since it's such an uplifting time of year (and if you do, damn, think about what it will be like throughout the not-so-positive months).
But what happens when the times are a bit tougher? Is this summer fling of yours someone who can lift you up when times are hard? Is he someone that you can see working past issues with and building stronger bonds? Would he be able to stay true to you from a distance and would you be able to trust him?
While we all want to live with our heads in the clouds and not have a worry in the world, unfortunately, that's just not how life works. You have to be realistic when deciding whether or not to turn your summer fling into a real relationship. Is the bond between the two of you strong enough to face hard times?
5. Can you see him in your future?
The strongest relationships have solid trust, true passion and a sense of caring for each other that you truly can't find anywhere else. You have to look past the honeymoon phase, come back down to earth and ask yourself if this is someone you can picture yourself building a life with.
If you don't see it being more than something that was just fun for a few months, but nothing more serious than that, you have your answer right there.
6. Can he see you in his future?
This is where communication comes into play. You may be 100 percent ready to make him your boyfriend, but does he feel the same way about you?
Trust me, I've put myself in the situation about five times too many where I thought someone felt the same way about me as I did about them and it ended with me getting my heart broken so let me tell you from experience, the best option is to always be open and honest.
If you're 100 percent committed to making a real relationship with your summer love work, then you need to make that clear to him. When getting into a relationship no matter what the season is, it's important to keep your SO updated on your feelings and intentions.
You have to make sure to have the conversations where your feelings and his feelings are clearly laid out on the table to avoid any future confusion or heartbreak. Someone who is serious about you will not be afraid to let you know through their words but also their actions. And even when someone's words sound genuine, remember actions always speak louder than words.