How Your SO's Family Can Make Or Break Your Relationship
There is a very fine line when it comes to your SO’s family.
Family drama can cause a lot of stress in a relationship.
As a girl who has a "Big Fat Greek" family, I know a little thing or two about it.
Everyone is in your business, and everyone has an opinion and judgment on how you lead your life.
That "matia," or evil eye, as us Greeks like to say, is very real; it comes from outsiders looking in on your relationship.
It's the negative energy, arguments and little things that will drive you crazy.
At first, you think you can deal with it.
It's a year in and you think, "It’ll be different when we are married."
Silly, silly thought.
You try to justify the actions and words spoken to you.
You think maybe they're "looking out for you" or "see something you don't."
It's a never ending cycle.
So what do you do when your boo's parents rub you the wrong way?
You can act submissive, like a quiet lamb who just goes with the herd.
You aren’t going to make waves because you love your partner and you want to make sure everything goes smoothly.
I don’t blame you.
However, silence is going to build up; either you will explode at at your partner or, worse, the family.
You need to decide.
Do I put up with the family or continue to be polite and respectful? Letting them say what they want sucks, but it helps to keep the peace.
Communication with your partner is a huge. In fact, it's everything.
The less people are involved in your relationship, the better off you are going to be. You need to explain what is happening with his or her family and how it's affecting your personal relationship together.
Your partner needs to defend you.
I'm not saying it has to be a "choose me over them" situation.
However, it needs to be known that you are an important factor in your partner's life, and you shouldn't have to defend or prove yourself to show you are someone worth liking.
If he or she is going to just let the family roast you, you need to rethink your relationship.
Harsh? Maybe, but it's reality.
Your partner's family members are always going to be there.
They either have to grow to like you, or accept the fact that you are in their lives. Don't walk on eggshells during every family function because you know you aren't liked.
I always believe you should do the best to be the better person, to keep the peace.
However, you are going to be very worn out when you are constantly being polite, giving so much of yourself without ever feeling it's being reciprocated.
You may think it won’t last forever. In real life, however, people hold grudges, and it's not always a movie ending, holding hands at the dinner table.
You may hope it will always be you and your partner. But in reality, there are so many other people in the equation that it can cause friction in a relationship.
Talk it out, express the feelings you feel toward your SO.
If your partner allows his or her family to do whatever they want to you, you will grow bitter.
Yes, love is powerful, but love is not the only thing that makes a successful relationship.
Remember: Hiding something under the rug will always resurface, no matter how much you try to bury it.