Let's say the person you are with passed the "requirements" test, has all the fundamental or essential attributes you desire, and still, it doesn't work out. We all know people who seem perfect together, but for some reason, it doesn't work out.
Here are two very basic reasons as to why. They are both so simple that many people do not often think about them. In fact, maybe they're the very reasons why these two reasons are actual issues.
Here's a chance for all of us to step back and look at this phenomenon with a new perspective:
Reason 1: Individualism
Nowadays, people are increasingly individualistic and selfish. People do not understand that once you are with someone, you become of a unit. Whether it is two friends or two lovers, your happiness is his or her happiness and his or her happiness is yours.
Instead, society has created extremely selfish people who embrace the notion that they don't need anyone else to cultivate others, and they can't love others before they love themselves.
These ideas promote selfishness and misunderstanding of human nature, which is all about community and affections shared with one another. Look at ANY type of living organism, especially mammals. There is no individualism; it is all about community relationships with one another.
The fact remains that your happiness is directly related to your loved ones, especially the one who is supposedly the love of your life. You are nothing without someone with whom you can share your feelings, thoughts, excitements and sadnesses.
The whole world suffers from loneliness, and so will you if the person with whom you share a bed is a stranger.
Reasons 2: Comfort Zone
If you want to be good at anything, — whether it’s basketball, writing, singing, painting, running or finance — you HAVE to get out of your comfort zone.
Why is it that in sports, it is expected to work hard, wake up at 5 am for a run, then again at 1 pm and then again at 7 pm in order to be good at your sport, and that isn’t expected in relationships?
It's expected that a violin player practices 10 hours a day, a rapper performs hundreds of shows per month and a cook makes same dish 500 times before it’s perfect. But, nobody wants to make the same type of sacrifices in relationships; nobody wants to leave his or her comfort zone.
You have a good job; you have a girl or guy who fits your criteria and fits the requirement list and seems like a good mate. I mean, you already had sex, so no need to work for it anymore, right?
You get comfortable, flowers stop coming, unexpected gifts end, random drinking nights end, random sex in a parking lot ends, excitement ends and interest in one another ends because you live the same life, with no separate interests. There is no mystery between you two.
Now, you’re physically not attracted to each other and it’s all down the hill from here.
Just like being an athlete is not easy, the same goes for being a partner, a father, mother or a friend. It takes conscious effort from both ends to have a skilled result. Don’t be individualistic; you are a unit. Practice being a good partner and get out of your comfort zone.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It