Before my husband, I was terrible at relationships. I also pretty much hated them, so that makes sense, but even if I had liked them, I probably wouldn't have been very good at them. I felt bound, suffocated, and generally awful. Connecting with him, though, changed all of that for me. We got married just eight weeks after our first date because he changed everything. It happens a lot, I'm told. So what exactly are the signs you're ready for marriage?
It's a different path for everyone, but a lot of the markers are the same. Knowing you've found your forever person is an awesome feeling. (And that's coming from someone who thought love was idiotic before!) It may dawn on you quickly, like it did for me and my husband, or you might have a more traditional path to long-term coupledom. But if the person you are with is "the one," not only will you notice things about them that make you sure there it, you'll also notice things about yourself have changed.
So how will you know? Here are 10 signs you're ready for marriage, based on the changes you'll feel in yourself.
1. You'll Feel Like You Don't Need To Look Anymore
Since I hated relationships, I never really felt like I had to "look." Upon meeting my husband, though, I did realize I had this sort of background feeling that someone was out there. And in prior relationships, it never went away. So it was easier for me to end them because the thought that there was someone perfect for me stayed in my brain.
When I met him, though, that all changed. I had this comfortable, peaceful feeling all of a sudden like I had found him. I can't explain it other than to say when you feel it, you'll know.
2. You'll Feel Totally Over The Dating Scene
When you're ready for marriage, you'll know it by how over the dating scene you are. The dating scene generally sucks — that much is true. But it can also be fun sometimes, like the late nights spent with a new date, having drinks and dinner and then partying, even if there's no future. And it can be fun to hop from date to date with attractive person after attractive person. (I used to do this a lot.)
That said, when I met my husband, I was immediately over it. I didn't need the freedom anymore, I didn't care about meeting new people, and I knew that there was nothing out there that I couldn't get with him. I was instantly hooked.
3. You'll Feel Secure
Jealousy isn't an attractive trait. I was never really a jealous person, but I was with people who were. Connecting with my husband, though, made me realize even more what a stupid emotion jealousy is, and I literally never feel it at all in my marriage. (Neither does he; I asked!)
You may surprise yourself because even if you had been a jealous person before, your soulmate will make you feel like you are the only thing that matters, and you won't have the need for jealousy in your life anymore. You will feel totally secure within yourself.
4. You'll Feel Mature
When you're ready for marriage, you'll know it by how mature you feel in the context of your relationship.
I used to play really dumb, bullsh*t games in my relationships, like pushing people away on purpose and stonewalling. I just wasn't that good at relationships.
With my husband, though, I don't do any of this. I feel like a capable, mature adult who can handle a grownup relationship where we talk and connect and respect each other. And it's nice, because I used to feel a bit out of control!
5. You'll Feel Like A Kid Again
OK, OK, I know I just said you'll feel mature. That's true. But you'll also feel like a kid! And yes, you can feel both!
My husband brings out the playful, fun side of me every time we are together. I do that for him, as well. Because we know we're soulmates, our relationship is about love and fun, not about stress.
Being with your "one" will make you feel so gleeful that you won't know what to do with yourself. And you'll know you're ready for marriage if they make you feel like a carefree kid.
6. You'll Feel Totally Done With All Of Your Exes
Not all of us have a "one that got away," but some of us have exes we still think about occasionally. There was never anyone I wanted to be with, but before my husband, I had moments of "I wonder what it would have been like if..."
Not anymore, though. Since being with him, I haven't once thought about the possibility of any exes. When you are ready to get married to your soulmate, thoughts of your exes will completely disappear. This is because you'll be sure you are with the right person.
7. You'll Feel Like You Want The Forever, Not The Wedding
Too many people are subject to getting caught up in the idea of a big, fancy wedding — the dress, the cake, the shoes, the guest lists, the venue, etc.
When you are truly ready for marriage, though, and you're with your soulmate, you won't care about any of that anymore. The wedding won't be important to you, because the marriage will be. For example, my husband and I had a tiny beach wedding with our close friends and family, some vegan cupcakes, and that was it. It was perfection because all we cared about was each other.
8. You'll Feel Open
Being ready for marriage means you're open to everything: new experiences with your partner, a new life, and new vulnerabilities. When you are with your "one," you'll know it because of how open you feel.
I was a pretty closed-off individual before I found my forever person and didn't really like to let people in. My husband changed all that effortlessly though, and as soon as we got together, I felt like a new version of myself that was open to everything.
9. You'll Feel Like A Complete Individual By Yourself
Being ready for marriage doesn't mean that you've decided you need your partner. It means that you've realized you are a complete, unique, special individual all on your own and that you want your partner to complement you, not that you need your partner to complete you.
When I met my husband, I was in a great space. I was happy alone, I was traveling, and I had built my life up on my own. He fit with me perfectly, and I fit with him, but we didn't complete each other; we just wanted to be perfect together.
When you're ready for marriage, you won't feel a desperate need to get married so you feel whole. You'll just feel happy you found your person.
10. You'll Feel In Love All The Time
Finally, being with the right someone, the person who makes you feel like you want forever with them, will also make you feel in love all the time. It won't matter if they are sick and disgusting, sweaty from the gym, or have all that eye gunk upon first waking up. You'll feel a rush of love every time you think of your partner, no matter what.
This is one of my favorite things about being married. No matter how my day is going, I can just think of my husband and instantly perk up!
Thinking you might be ready for marriage and knowing you are are two different things. You'll feel it within yourself when you are truly ready.
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