Signs You’re Not In Love Anymore, As Told By People Who Know What It Feels Like


There will come a moment in your life, if it hasn't happened already, where you'll realize you have stopped being in love with someone you were once in love with. Maybe it was someone you dated briefly or for several years. Maybe it was someone you were married to. Maybe it's someone you never even dated: your best friend, someone you hadn't come out to yet, or someone who, for whatever the reason, you just couldn't be with. No matter who it was, something will happen where you will say to yourself, "Oh, I don't feel the same about this person anymore. Hm. Interesting."

Falling out of love is a very complicated, personal process. For some people, it happens out of nowhere. They literally wake up one morning and suddenly realize they're over it. For others, it happens slowly or over the course of several years. The process isn't usually linear — it can be interrupted by hearing a song on the radio or seeing an unexpected text message or a surprising photo on an Instagram feed — but it is inevitable for all couples (unless you, like, get married and eventually die next to each other in the hospital).

Here, 14 men and women explain how they knew they were falling out of love with someone and the feelings that accompanied that process.

She knew when she could smile at their memories.

— Sarah, 25

He knew when he felt like they were roommates.

She knew when everything he did annoyed her.

— Krissy*, 24

He knew when he had no desire to be intimate.

— Jim*, 30

She knew when she started feeling grossed out by him.

He knew when he wanted to do literally anything else besides spend time with her.

She knew when she started liking someone else.

— Kait, 25

He knew when he realized he wasn't as hurt as he should have been by the breakup.

— Dave, 29

She knew when she felt numb to everything the girl did.

— Theresa, 23

He knew when everything felt minimal.

She knew when she felt sad, then guilty.

— Emily, 31

He knew when she started to feel like a chore.

She knew when she wasn't excited to see him anymore.

He knew when he didn't want to get physical.

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*Name has been changed.