Every couple goes through some ups and downs. If you're lucky enough to have worked and continue to work through the downs, though, those things start to make up serious signs your relationship will last. Likely, it'll make it in the long run, despite those obstacles.
We often freak out when our relationships aren't perfect, and we think there's something wrong if we have to work hard at love. The truth is, though, everyone goes through some difficult times, especially on the path to forever love. So it makes sense that you might have to work pretty hard to get through some of life's junk.
If you and your partner can overcome these five obstacles with some effort from both of you, though, your relationship is built to last:
1. Old Wounds
Old wounds are a huge cause of relationships going south. We've all been through a lot by the time we meet our forever partner. Even if we don't mean to (and despite that we try really hard not to sometimes), we can end up making our partner pay for our previous partners' mistakes.
If you're feeling some irrational jealousy toward your current partner because your former partner cheated on you, you aren't alone. Similarly, if you've been ghosted, like, 10 times in the past year and you're constantly worried your partner is about to leave, you're totally normal.
The way to combat this very common issue of old wounds creeping up in a new relationship is through (what else?) communication. If you feel some pain from your past starting to affect your future, talk to your partner about it. Better yet, talk to your partner and a therapist about it. It's likely that with time and love, your wounds will start to heal. But you need to clue your partner in on the process to make sure your relationship doesn't fall apart in the meantime.
2. Weird Family Dynamics
No one's family is "normal." Seriously, forget the sh*t we all saw on TV as kids: Problems aren't solved in neat, 30-minute windows after school, and not everyone talks calmly like rational adults over the dinner table.
Unfortunately, if you're close to your family, or if your partner is, it can be really difficult to keep some of those strange emotional, familial connections out of your relationship. But if you can't, you can't. The important thing is to find a way to deal with it and not let it impact your relationship.
Communication helps here, too, but it's not the only thing you can do. You and your partner can also learn to set better boundaries with your family members, so your relationship stays sacred.
If you've managed to overcome some of the weird family dynamics both you and your partner have, then congratulations: Your relationship is likely built to last.
3. Irritating Habits
We all do weird stuff, let's not lie. Whether it's eating cold veggie doggies with hummus (me), refusing to stop working out even when injured (also me), or making up songs about our puppies and kitties (OK, also me), our weird habits are what makes us us.
That said, weird habits can be a death knell for a relationship, especially if the two of you live together. It can be tempting to think there's a better fit out there when you are asking your partner to put the toilet seat down for the fifth time in three days. The thing is, if you are with your forever partner, there isn't a better fit, and their irritating habits will still irritate you.
It's better to realize you also have irritating habits and find a way to work through them together, as a couple.
If the two of you already know the worst, most annoying idiosyncrasies about each other, and you're still passionately in love, then your relationship is probably going strong for the long haul.
4. Managing Money
Adulting sucks. And a big part of adulting is managing money. Fights about money are super common to couples — even the best, most loving, and communicative couples. It's because money is such a personal thing. It's so important, and we all have really different ways of spending and managing our money.
Communication and trust are, once again, the keys to this issue in couples (as they are for many things). If the two of you can talk through things calmly, you'll be fine. And if you've already found a great groove that works for you with your money management, then you're definitely on the road to relationship success.
5. Other People's BS
People suck, amirite? Unfortunately, sometimes, when you get happy in a relationship, other people's BS comes out. Whether it's past girlfriends that are jealous of you, guy friends who wanted to sleep with you, or sometimes even family members who don't know how to be happy for you, other people's garbage is the worst thing to deal with in a relationship.
It's best to remember that your relationship is absolutely sacred, and there's no point in letting other people's opinions get to you, because they're just that: opinions. They don't matter at all to your life, and you'd be fine without them.
If you and your partner have found a way to keep your relationship sacred, not impacted by the junk thoughts of everyone around you, this is definitely a sign your relationship is going to last.
Every couple goes through some obstacles and often, they're pretty common. The important thing isn't the obstacles themselves, though. It's how you work through them. If you and your partner have found a way to work through these five common obstacles, you'll probably be enjoying your love for years to come.
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