If They Do These 5 Subtle Things, They're Already Committed To You

by Anjali Sareen Nowakowski

When you're at that serious point in a new relationship, where you know you are in love and ready to commit, you may start to look for signs he is committed to you, as well. It's really exciting to go from casual dating to committed couple, but sometimes, it's not always as easy as just hopping into a new relationship.

People are all different and take their own time doing things, especially important things like seriously committing to someone. Granted, my husband and I got married pretty much as soon as we met, but we're not exactly the norm.

If you're looking for some signs that your partner may be committed, even if they haven't necessarily talked about it yet, look no further. Here are some subtle signs that show they are already happily committed to you:

1. They Really Listen When You Talk

A sure sign that the person you are with is committed to you is if they really listen when you talk — not just pretending to listen, but truly paying attention to the words you say.

You'll know you are being listened to when your significant other asks you about that big work project you mentioned or when they surprise you with tickets to that show you were chatting about the other night. It'll be subtle and sweet when you realize how much the person you love values what you are saying.

My husband remembers things that I don't even remember I've said, and he always knows just how I'm feeling based on how closely he listens to me. So if your partner really, truly pays attention to your words, they are likely committed to you and in it for good.

2. They Involve You In Their Life

A person who is already committed will make sure you know it by how much they involve you in their life. They will introduce you to friends, family, and colleagues, and they'll want to keep you up to date on what's going on in their life.

Early on, my husband started to tell me about all of his close friends and clue me into what he was doing on a day-to-day basis. He also talked to me about future plans and always made me feel like I was in the loop.

Someone who is truly committed to you won't make you wonder and guess about how important you are to them. They'll show you by involving you in all the most important parts of their life.

3. They Come To You For Help

A person who is already committed to you will see you like a true partner, instead of just a hookup. So they will likely come to you for help, including to ask for your advice and about your opinions basically anything.

One of my favorite things about my husband is that he loves asking for my thoughts on things. It could be the smallest possible topic, like what ingredient he should add to the dinner he's cooking, or the biggest, like what I think of a potential job. But no matter what, he always asks me.

If you are unsure about your partner's level of commitment to you, and they make sure to get your advice or opinion whenever they can, don't worry about it, because they are definitely in it for the long haul.

4. They Are Always Physically Affectionate

Someone who is truly committed to you already won't hesitate to be physically affectionate with you anywhere — in your house, at the gym, or out on a date. They will want both you and the rest of the world to know how they feel about you.

Even if you are with someone who doesn't have a natural inclination toward physical affection or who wasn't very physically affectionate in their prior relationships (this was me), when they're with you and they know they want to commit to you, they won't be able to keep away from you.

My husband is generally much more physically affectionate than I am, but when we connected, I realized I like being affectionate with him in a way I never had in any prior relationships. I like to kiss and cuddle him at home. And even when we're out, it makes me happy to always just have a hand on him or be sitting really closely.

5. They Have Mentioned Commitment Happily Before

Someone who's already committed to you won't be entirely new to the idea of commitment in the first place.

This doesn't necessarily mean they had to have been in long-term relationships before, but it does mean they've thought about it, they have an idea what it's like, and it's something they might like to share with you. Someone interested in commitment may talk about their parents' relationship as one they look up to or they may discuss how they would like to have a committed partner one day, for example.

If a person isn't interested in committing at all in a relationship, they usually don't talk about commitment as though it's anything positive. Before I met my husband, I was really not into the idea of commitment at all, so I never pretended I was. I was always straight up about my desires to be free. That said, as soon as I met him, I started thinking about and talking about how nice the idea of a commitment would be.

If you hear your significant other talking about how great they think a long-term, committed love would be, then they are likely looking for that with you.

Sometimes, in a relationship, it's clear when commitment is on the horizon. Other times, though, you have to dig a little. But if your partner does any of the things on this list, they are committed to you whether they've said it or not.

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