The Dos And Don'ts Of Letting Your Partner Have Your Passwords & Logins

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In the age of rampant identity fraud, now more than ever, it's become super important to keep any personal security information on the DL. Even if you're the type of person who is super cautious with sensitive information, it can be difficult to not let horror stories involving stolen information make us all paranoid AF. But where exactly should you be drawing the line when it comes to sharing your passwords with your significant other? Should your boyfriend have your passwords?

Well, there's obviously no right or wrong answer. On the surface, it may seem like the answer to this question simply depends on how long you and your partner have been together and how much you trust them. Unfortunately, anyone who's been through a nasty breakup knows how quickly the tables can turn if and when you decide to part ways. When it comes down to it, a more productive question to ask yourself would be how many of your exes would you trust with sensitive information? If you're asking me, then not many.

Although concerns about personal security vary from person to person, there are most definitely a few do's and don'ts you should keep in mind before handing over the keys to your entire virtual life.

Do Think About The Worst Case Scenario

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I happen to think sharing access to phone and computer logins is totally fine because, assuming you don't have anything to hide, this access is conditional. Unless you're cohabiting the same space, then the times when your partner would be accessing these things would probably be when you are around to supervise. Also, you don't need to get all paranoid if your partner asks for your Netflix, HBO GO, or any other login that is obviously indicative of an imminent binge-watching bender. Hell, we all know we stayed logged into that rando's Hulu account.

But just like my mom always says, hindsight is 20/20. If you're in relationship bliss right now, then I bet it's probably pretty hard to imagine your partner doing something to completely psycho like logging on to your Facebook account and posting your nudes for the whole world to see. Sadly, though, this isn't unheard of.

Before sharing the password to anything that could come back to bite you, like your social media logins, take a moment to really think about if this is someone whom you trust deeply and see yourself with for the foreseeable future. And if you were to have a nasty falling out, are they the type of person who would lash out and do something crazy? Even if you trust this person, you still may not be able to predict future situations.

Do Make Sure They Are Also Willing To Share

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If the person you're in a relationship with is hounding you for passwords from the jump, then I'm sure I don't have to tell you that something is definitely up. Especially if they're at all hesitant to return the favor.

Although there's no need to arrange a dinner to discuss each of your boundaries when it comes to personal security, I can't think of a single reason you would want to be with anyone that hounded you about your HBO GO login, but got super stingy when you asked for their Amazon Prime Video details.

Do Change Your Passwords After A Breakup

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Like I said, breakups tend to bring out the worst in people. If, for whatever reason, you gave a soon-to-be ex access to anything that they may be able to use against you, then please please don't forget to change those passwords STAT. Honestly, if they are the impulsive type, then I'd consider changing it before you break the news that you two are no longer an item.

Also, keep in mind that it may be a good idea to keep your primary email password to yourself, mostly because who would ever want access to your email? But also because you will definitely need access to it to change any important passwords just in case your SO does a complete 180 and tries to hi-jack your email with the hopes of locking you out of all of your other accounts, which would truly be insane.

Don't Ever Share Passwords To Your Finances


I can't think of one legitimate reason your partner would ever need access to any online banking logins. Thanks to Venmo and a bunch of other really awesome money sharing apps, it's so easy to send and receive money. If they really want to get all up in your finances — which, unless you live together, is super weird — then suggest opening up a joint bank account.

Again, unless you live together, then I have no idea why this would be necessary, but hey. However, if, for whatever reason, they ever tried to clean out your bank account or even just "borrow" money without asking, it would be almost impossible to prove that what they did was fraud because they had access to your login information. It's also important to realize that certain accounts that may not seem "financial" are also connected to your finances. I kid you not, one of my friend's exes logged into her Seamless account and straight up ordered roughly $400 worth of late night snacks over the course of two months. Be careful.

Don't Share Your Facebook Password

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Now, opinions may be divided on this one, which is totally understandable. If you have nothing to hide, then why is giving your partner access to your social media account so terrible? I'll tell you why. Because Facebook is way more public than you might think.

This is another situation where having access just doesn't seem necessary. If you're hanging out and your partner glances through your feed, no harm done. Again, this type of access is conditional on you being around to supervise. If you're dating a jealous type who wants your Facebook login to police your activity, then this is pretty messed up and a red flag that they may have some serious control and/or trust issues.

Ultimately, it's up to you whom you feel comfortable sharing personal security information with. But it never hurts to be cautious, especially in the early stages of a relationship. If someone is pressuring you about getting access to that don't really need access to, regardless of how "good" their reason is, then it never hurts to be safe rather than sorry.

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