Taking Friends’ Dating Advice Isn’t Always The Best Idea
Sometimes, conflicting feelings between you and the guy you're seeing could leave you questioning the relationship entirely.
But, instead of getting caught up in your own head, you pick the brains of your best gal pals with the hopes that they can help sort out all your dating issues.
On last night's episode of The Bachelorette, Rachel did exactly that: She got a little help from her friends.
In trying to plan a group date, Rachel turned to her girls to help out with some suggestions. In the process, she got a bit of advice: Eric isn't the guy for her. The advice was based on feedback given by Rachel's other suitors (which may, of course, muddy the waters a little).
By the night's end, Eric still managed to take home a rose while Rachel was left wondering about his true intentions.
Should she have listened to everything her girls said? Was it a good call to go with her gut?
I've always valued my close friendships with my female friends, but I've been in the same boat as Rachel. Despite them being my good friends, I can't say I've ever, in the history of my relationships, listed to their advice when it comes to dating.
When a girl gets advice from her girlfriends because she's unsure about a guy, is it mandatory to take everything they say to heart? Are we allowed to listen but pretend we never heard it if we don't exactly agree?
Elite Daily reached out to some experts to help us figure it out.
Susan Trombetti, matchmaker extraordinaire and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, said that more often than not, your girlfriends can be ignored.
"Unless your girlfriends know something very specific and factual, you shouldn't listen," says Trombetti.
Listening to your single girlfriends too much can be what's keeping you single. Instead of girlfriends, your own intuition will be your best guide.
They are single for a reason. They are your biggest supporters and confidantes, but if you are having trouble, they are the last people to want to talk to about dating advice. Learn to trust your gut, and it will never fail you. You don't need your girlfriends mucking it up.
Mike Goldstein, EZ Dating Coach founder, believes it may not always be that black and white.
According to Goldstein, there are two basic types of female friends. It's up to you which one you choose to listen to.
"The 'yes' friend simply tells you whatever you want to hear," Goldstein says. "The 'yes' friend is a valuable friend for boosting your ego and having less stressful conversations but she is not a person to get advice from."
The 'guardian' friend, on the other hand, often has your best interests at heart and isn't afraid to tell it like it is. When the 'guardian' friend warns you away from a potential mate, it's probably because she's been paying attention to your life.
Either way, it's important to remember that the final decision (or in Rachel's case, rose) should be yours and yours alone.
"My advice is don't rate the quality of the guy, rate the quality of the relationship," says Goldstein. "If he treats you well, move forward, if he doesn't treat you well, demand better and if he gives you better, awesome! If he doesn't, maybe it is time to move on."
The only real way to know if someone is right for you is to feel that in the moment.
Rachel may not be feeling Eric right now, but who knows what'll happen down the road. Not tossing him aside, and not listening to her girlfriends, may have been a good decision after all.