There are two kinds of people in this world. There are people who end relationships too soon, and there are people who hang on to them long after they're finished.
With time, however, most of us learn the difference between a bad relationship that's heading nowhere and a good relationship that has some real potential.
Most of us have an incredibly unrealistic concept of love. But though our realities don't match up with our expectations, we often refuse to accept things for what they are.
We don't heed the signs. We look at the people we love in only the most flattering light. It can be difficult to let go when you don't want to, but sometimes you need to do it.
Here are a few signs that you need to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
1. He or she doesn't respect you.
Personally, I don't interact people who don't have the common decency to respect me -- or others. Dating someone who doesn't respect you or your body? Why the f*ck would you do that?
Don't get me wrong: Sometimes the right kind of perversity in a relationship can spice it up. But even that sort of thing should be done with love.
I've seen some horrible relationships. And you know what they all had in common? One person in the relationship lacked sufficient respect for the other. Sure, we've all gotten a bit too excited and said or did things that we regretted. But when the person you're dating belittles you and makes you feel like a piece of garbage all the time, it's time to call it quits.
2. He or she cheated on you.
It's never OK to cheat on your partner. If you have an open relationship, good for you. But even then, I'm sure there's a certain line that you're not supposed to cross. There's always a line.
Cheating on someone who loves you is one of the cruelest things that you can do to a person. You'll break your lover's heart and trust. You'll hurt him or her.
Sometimes we want to forgive and forget. We want to move on as if nothing happened. But we all know that's not the case. Sure, maybe you can move past it. Maybe he or she won't cheat on you anymore. Maybe you'll end up together.
Or… maybe your partner WILL cheat on you again. Or maybe he or she doesn't, but you'll never stop questioning.
If you're cheated on, break things off, if only for the time being. Take some time to figure out if getting back together is really what's best for you.
3. It's been long enough, and you haven't fallen for this person.
What's "long enough"? I'm afraid that's not something I can tell you. Only you know when it's been enough time.
Some people fall in love right away. Others take more time; they're not always as open to the idea. The latter group is usually more experienced than the first; by that, I mean that the people in this group have had more than one broken heart.
Sometimes it's not that we aren't ready or willing to love; it's that we haven't yet found a reason. This is where things get difficult. Sometimes we haven't yet gotten to know someone well enough to love him or her. At other times, love isn't possible, and all we're doing is hoping for something that will never be.
I can't tell you when enough is enough, but if it's been a couple of years and you still don't feel those butterflies, it may be time to start looking elsewhere.
4. It's been long enough, and you don't see a future with this person.
Once you get to know someone well enough, you can begin to imagine your life together. Is he or she someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with? Or not? Can you admit that you're chasing a fleeting dream?
It's OK to admit that things aren't going to work out. I know it hurts -- it turns your insides outside just thinking about it -- but denying that fact won't make things better. In fact, it'll only make things more difficult.
You'll eventually find yourself trying to hold on to something that died a long time ago. The longer you wait and the more time that you spend, the more difficult it becomes to cut your loses and move on with your life. If it's got to be done, then be smart. Do it now.
5. Your partner still isn't ready to have a meaningful relationship.
No matter how good you are at reading people, there's always a level of uncertainty. There's always room for error. All we really have to go by is people's actions. Knowing people's true intentions and feelings is becoming increasingly more difficult.
But it doesn't really matter why someone refuses to commit. If your boyfriend or girlfriend isn't putting in the effort, cut your losses and move on.
6. You're not ready for something meaningful.
There is nothing more important in life than meaningful relationships. They're more real than anything else that we experience. They have a greater effect on us than most things in life ever will. If you aren't ready for something real, you need to realize how shi*ty everything becomes when it's not real.
There is no better teacher than letting go of someone you love because you want to take time to “find yourself.” Let's be honest here. You just want something new. Something novel, something you've never experienced before.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you that by calling it quits on something great, you're only missing out. At the end of the day, you will have more fun -- in bed and out -- with someone you truly love.
I don't expect you to take my word for it. I wish you luck. Remember: No matter how deep that hole seems, you can manage to crawl out of it.