Relationships

Why You Need To Stop Thinking Your Ex Gives A Sh*t

Stocksy

It’s no secret that people have trouble moving on from relationships. We over analyze everything our ex does and twist it into something it's not. I see it happen all the time -- my friends act as though they’ve won the lottery because their ex texted them or liked their picture on Instagram. Then they delete them on Facebook or send the obligatory “leave me alone!” text. How can we escape from this trap we’ve set for ourselves and move on? Here is a translation guide to your ex’s (and your) behavior that can help set you free.

1. Your ex gets mad that you hang out with his friends – you think he’s jealous because he's madly in love with you and wants to put a ring on it.

Translation -- it just means that he doesn’t want you around. LET GO ALREADY.

2. You check your ex’s Facebook 5-25 times a day and refresh Instagram every 2 minutes and finally get rewarded by seeing a “code” message that you are sure was meant just to tell you he wants to get back together and is just too shy to say it.

Translation – seriously? Guys are not that clever. If he wanted you back you would know it without secret decoding skills.

3. You sleep with your ex’s friend to show him that you are hot enough for his friends and to make him realize what he’s missing.

Translation – NEWSFLASH: guys will usually hook up with anything that walks and isn’t over 500 lbs. You’ve just made yourself look like a cheap slut. Don’t think that your ex doesn’t know that you are doing it to get him mad either -- he knows. It’s painfully obvious. You didn’t just happen to fall 10 times and land in a different one of his friends' mouths each time.

4. Your ex comes up to you at a bar and makes a jealous comment

Translation - he’s drunk and talking out of his ass.

It’s no secret that humans have trouble letting go and moving on. Social networking has made it close to impossible for generation-Y to let go. We take every little move from our ex as a gesture to get back together.

What happened to the days where a guy had to throw rocks at your window while blasting a love song from the boombox on his shoulder to make you think he wants a relationship? Now, if they glance at you on a night out, drunkenly text you or like your Instagram, it means they want to get back together, right? Wrong.

Whether you just got out of your last relationship a week or months ago, I’m guessing this applies to you somehow. You think about your ex at least once a day, wonder what they’re thinking. Are they thinking about you? Are they checking your Facebook? Do they still mention you to their friends? How many girls have they hooked up with since you? Did that drunk text the other night mean something?

The real question is… are you over him? Yes. Are you over the idea of your relationship? No… but you need to be.

Stop taking these insignificant signs and using them to fool yourself into thinking that your ex wants to get back together. I’m telling you right now, if your ex wants to get back together, you would know it. Don’t feel weak for not letting go. We all struggle with it.

There are endless reasons why it is difficult to let go. How long did you hold onto your favorite stuffed animal from childhood? What you need to learn is that there is a difference between moving on and tricking yourself that you’ve moved on, which just prolongs the pain. And tricking yourself is a lot harder on you in the long run than just moving on.

The best way to get over your ex is to accept that he doesn’t care about what you do. This is the only way to learn to be happy again; I mean truly and independently happy. Happiness is the best revenge. Not sluttiness.

Jessica Eggert | Elite. Photo Courtesy: The Paper Wall