4 "Vanilla" Sex Positions You Should Never Feel Guilty For Enjoying

by Alison Segel
George Rudy/Shutterstock

Sex kind of intimidates me. I've spent a lot of time during hookups trying to impress other people instead of focusing on my own pleasure. But you know what gets me off? Plain, old, unadventurous vanilla sex. Vanilla sex gets a bad reputation. People label it as "boring," when really, it's just a bunch of easy sex positions anyone can do without intimidation or insecurity. Who wants to feel intimidated or insecure in the bedroom? Not me. Absolutely no kink shaming here against more involved fetishes, but also, please don't kink shame me for liking vanilla sex.

Just because you're a little vanilla in the bedroom, doesn't mean you're a sexual snooze-fest. Boning for basics doesn't have to be repetitive, unoriginal,  unenjoyable, mediocre, or unfulfilling. In fact, vanilla sex can actually be the most intimate, romantic kind of sex. It's more love-making than it is lust-driven. You're connecting on a more emotionally intimate level with someone, as opposed to needing to tie them up and f*ck their brains out. Why do we so quickly assume that just because we want to be gentle or tender with something, it must mean we aren't passionate about it?

Yeah, that's not true. So here are some vanilla sex positions you should never feel guilty for enjoying.

1. Missionary


Missionary is the go-to position for vanilla sex lovers everywhere. I will defend missionary until the day I die. Why? Because everyone looks good in missionary position. You can easily control how your boobs look, so they aren't flailing around or falling into your armpits. You get to feel the weight of your partner's body on top of yours, which, IMO, is dope and a big turn-on.

And if you don't know how to do missionary, all you have to do is lie down. Then, your partner gets on top of you, and you have sex. It's that easy! But additionally, they have access to your breasts, neck, and ears (all erogenous zones), so it's more about full-body pleasure than a boring sexual experience.

2. Spooning Sex

Viktor Solomin

Vanilla sex is supposed to be intimate, and not intimidating, so hooking up while spooning is the best way to accomplish both of those things. With your leg slightly raised toward your stomach, your partner enters you from behind while spooning you. Holding you tightly, you can then move in sync together until climax. This position also leaves your clitoris open for extra stimulation, whether it's from your own hand, your partner's, or a toy.

Additionally, both sex and cuddling (particularly the cuddling part) release oxytocin, otherwise known as the "love hormone," which can simulate feelings of love, trust, and bonding between you and your partner. So if you're looking to intensify the feelings you and your partner have for each other, this is the position to try out.

3. Legs-On-Top Missionary

If there's anything basic people like, it's vanilla sex and probably also yoga. So legs-on-top missionary is a great position to add to your routine if you'd put yourself into that category. In this position, you start in missionary, and then, you stretch your legs over your partner's shoulders, with your ankles around their neck. If you really want to show off your flexibility, try putting your legs over your own head.

This position allows for deeper penetration, more focused and direct stimulation of your G-spot, increased pressure, and pleasure. There's nothing vanilla about that to me.

4. Cowgirl


Cowgirl position is for the vanilla girl who likes to have control in the bedroom. You get on top of your partner, riding and gyrating until climax. This allows you to direct your own sexual experience in terms of depth, speed, motion, and angle — ensuring you an easier, faster, and better orgasm. And if you want to vary the position slightly, try reverse cowgirl, where instead of facing your partner, you are looking away.

Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for liking vanilla sex. Sometimes, in the bedroom, basic is best. There are many ways to get to the same destination. The destination is an orgasm, and you're just trying to get there the easiest way possible. Sounds smart to me!

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