5 Sex Positions For When You Want To Relax And Let Someone Else Take Control

by Alison Segel
Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

Have you ever wanted to have sex, but you also kind of want to exert zero energy while doing so?

I feel that way when I'm tired, hungover, sick, or have worked all day long. I want to orgasm, but can you just do it for me?

If you've had a long day of making decisions, being a bad b*tch in the boardroom, or even running errands, sometimes you just want to relax at the end of the day by having a steamy sex session where your partner does all the work.

Or maybe you just feel like playing around with dominant and submissive roles in the bedroom and don't know where to start.

Here are five sex positions for when you want to relax and let someone else take control — because, sometimes, it feels good to switch it up in the bedroom.


If you want someone else to take control in the bedroom, then a great way to do that is through (consensual) BDSM.

I'm not saying you should don a full latex body suit or that you and your partner should dress up like furries, but it might be a good time to do some role playing, or even incorporate restraints if you want your partner to take a more dominant role in the bedroom while you submit (assuming you're comfortable, of course).

Once you and your partner develop some boundaries, allow yourself to relax while they take full control over your sexual experience.

BDSM is a great exercise in trust. But just make sure you've both talked about consent and comfort first, have a safe word, and know your likes, dislikes, and hard "NOs" — things you absolutely do not want to do.

2. Doggy Style

Kylah Benes-Trapp

Doggy style seems to be every man's favorite position. It's probably because men love butts, and this one really puts your butt on display.

Did I mention guys are really into butts?

For this, you get on all fours like a dog — hence the kind of gross name "doggy style" — while your partner enters you from behind. Not only do men typically achieve orgasms quickly in this position, but it also allows easy access for you to incorporate a sex toy or your own hand (or your partner's) to help you get some clitoral stimulation.

Because don't forget, you deserve an orgasm, too, even in positions where your partner is doing most of the work.

3. Collapsed Doggy Style

Kylah Benes-Trapp

Featured in Cosmo, this position, also known as "collapsed doggy style," puts your partner in control and allows for deep penetration.

You relax on your stomach with your face on the pillow. (Note: Be careful not to suffocate yourself.) Pop your butt slightly up, and open your legs just a bit. Your partner then lies on top of you and penetrates from behind.

You're practically already in the position you sleep in, you don't have to look at your partner, and they're the one doing all the work.

Talk about an ideal sex situation!

4. The Countertop

Kylah Benes-Trapp

In this position, you sit or lie down on a counter, table, or bed. Your partner stands up in front of you, puts your legs over their shoulders, and begins penetration.

You get to lie back and enjoy all the fun while your partner does all the thrusting. Additionally, this position is great for incorporating a toy or a hand to make sure you're receiving clitoral stimulation while you're having sex.

Just make sure you clean off that kitchen counter before you make dinner.

5. Against The Wall

So, this is when you have sex on an airplane. Just kidding. Obviously, this is when you have sex against a wall.

You prop yourself against the wall with one of your knees up against your chest. Your partner stands facing you, lifting and supporting your leg with their hand. (Don't worry, you don't even have to exert the energy of lifting your own leg!)

Your partner then begins penetration. If they're feeling extra strong and do CrossFit or something, they can even pick you up.

Either way, your job is just to stand there and enjoy the ride. Just make sure you're coming, too. It's not only about your partner's pleasure!

So if you just want to relax and let your partner take control, then this might be the perfect time to give one of these positions a try. They're popular for a reason, after all!