Let me just start off by saying sex with your SO should always be the best.
Was it quick? Who cares. Did something strange and new happen during it? Now you've experienced something new. Sex with your partner is still sex with your partner, regardless of whether it was a top-10, unforgettable moment or just a quicky to get off.
When you begin a relationship with someone, the sex is foreign. But with all the excitement that new relationship brings, comes a world of uncertainty in the bedroom. Are they into freaky shit, or are they more vanilla?
When you begin a relationship with someone, the sex is foreign.
Being in a new relationship and learning about each of your sexual wants and desires takes a little time. Not everyone opens up right away, and you usually take it slow when getting to know your SO's favorite sexual pleasures.
Sex in a new relationship is often a little awkward, as well. As you may feel comfortable enough to try something new with them, they may feel differently, and then, the whole moment is ruined.
Sure, it'll take a minute to bounce back, but you'll both laugh about it later once you figure out a rhythm between the two of you.
So, how does the sex differ from when you first started dating and once you've been with your SO for years?
It's no secret that once you've spent a lot of time with a person, you get used to them. And there is no better feeling than becoming comfortable with experimenting, but finding a way to talk about what you want can take time. You'll get there.
Sex is the most intimate part of a relationship, but exploring outside of the box is not always the easiest when you care for a person and don't want to lose them. And while sex may not be the most important key to a relationship, the intimacy of it is still important and the lack of it can be a deal breaker.
Sex may not be the most important key to a relationship, the intimacy of it is still important and the lack of it can be a deal breaker.
Plain and simple, we don't want to be judged. What one person desires can be what another person despises. Getting past that fear of not sharing the same sexual interests can be difficult, but it does eventually come. (Get it? Sex puns.)
Once you get past any fears and awkwardness, sex is all fun and games... seriously. Where you felt weird laughing when something funny happened during the act before, you now both burst out laughing and continue the deed.
Jokes aren't off limits during sex once you've been together for awhile because you both know where you stand and can have as much fun with it as you'd like.
Jokes aren't off limits during sex once you've been together for awhile; you both know where you stand.
It's also a very nonchalant activity for the two of you. In the early stages of your relationship, you might have felt the need to have some kind of romantic build up to get to the sex. But now, you can just look at each and say, "Let's do it."
With time, you learn a lot about what your partner likes and doesn't. You learn the fastest ways to turn them on and what gets them to where they need to be. You learn plenty about yourself along the way, too.
The whole thing is a learning process for everyone. Maybe you'll discover that something you thought you'd never in a million years be OK with is something you actually love.
Sex with your SO should be a constant experiment. Never stop looking for new ways to go about something. And with time, your comfort level will force you to expand your boundaries.