This week we have 20-year-old Alyssa* who dreamed about having sex with her husband's married co-worker:
I had a dream last night that seemed to last all night long... and it was a sex dream about a married man my husband works with. I'm really not sure what to think of this. I can't be all that specific, as it lasted so long, and locations and things were different. I remember being in a cabin-like place, a candle-lit restaurant and also in a car during the dream. In this dream, he was married as he is in real life, and he was nervous about cheating at first, but the sex happened multiple times throughout the dream. I saw this man today and could barely look at him after the dream I had.
Here's Lauri's interpretation:
Oh, yes. It's very difficult to look someone in the eye after you've been down and dirty with them the previous night... in your dream! When this happens, try to remember that the dream wasn't necessarily about the person, but rather about what that person represents. This doesn't mean you have a secret attraction to this man, but he also wasn't a random choice for a sex dream partner. There is something about this person your subconscious identifies with or wants you to take on as your own. Here's the trick to figure it out: When you think of him, what are the first three things that come to mind? Got 'em? Good. Now, ask yourself if any of those qualities would benefit you or your life right now.
The way your dream changed settings is also a clue — the settings in our dreams often represent the different 'areas' of our life.
The settings in our dreams often represent the different 'areas' of our life.
The cabin most likely represents an area where you need to simplify. What part of your life is too chaotic or complicated? The candle-lit restaurant is most likely the romance area. How is the romance in your marriage right now?
The car is an area that is either moving forward or is at a stand-still, depending on whether the car was in motion or parked. My educated guess, taking all these clues into consideration, is that this dream is about your own marriage, and there's some quality this man has or something about his marriage that you wish to bring into yours. That may be where his guilt over cheating comes in to play: It's really your guilt because all of this is a creation of your mind and exists within your head. You may be feeling guilty about desiring what someone else has. My advice is to turn that guilt into action. That doesn't mean to go after the man, but rather, work on bringing those characteristics you want into your own life or marriage. Remember, this man you dreamed of isn't a desire so much as he is an example.
This man you dreamed of isn't a desire so much as he is an example.
Like, am I a cheater?! Is dream cheating a thing?! Also, ugh, if I had to see the guy I dreamed about, forget about it... I'd be an awkward mess.
But it's good to know this dream isn't about having feelings for your husband's random co-worker at all. No, it's more about wanting something you're lacking in your own life. So time to do some good, old-fashioned self-reflecting.
I hope this was helpful for Alyssa and anyone else who's ever had a similar dream!
*Names have been changed.