What It Means To Have A Sex Dream About Your Boyfriend's BFF

by Candice Jalili
Kylah Benes-Trapp

A while ago, I collaborated with famed dream expert, Lauri Loewenberg, to decode any and all of your freakiest sex dreams.  And I've had a guilty conscience about it ever since.

I know there are far freakier sex dreams than the 22 general concepts that are mentioned on that list. We all have deeply personal, weirdly detailed dreams that we sometimes just can't seem to shake out of our heads. 

Like, WHY did you dream about that guy from the grocery store yesterday? WHY was he wearing a top hat and nothing else?! What does it mean? Do you have to tell your boyfriend? Are you actually into the weird grocery store guy?!

So, I've decided to start a column. You guys can submit your sex dreams to, and we will have Lauri interpret one dream a week.

This week's dream comes from 20-year-old Bailey* who caught herself having a sex dream about her boyfriend's best friend:

Recently, my boyfriend of 10 months started bringing me around a new group of friends of his. And his best friend of this group and I hit it off as friends. We talk and Snapchat every day, and my boyfriend is aware of our close friendship. But the other day, I had a sex dream about this friend and that my boyfriend found out and didn't care. And it kind of has me questioning my feelings for his friend.

Here's Lauri's interpretation:

You talk and Snapchat every day? Oh snap! Even though it's platonic, you are clearly building a friendship with this guy that has the potential to turn into something more than it should. Now, I know I say all the time that a sex dream is more often about a psychological union you have had or need rather than a physical union you want, and that is very true when you are dreaming of someone you would never touch with a 10-foot pole. BUT when you have a sex dream about someone you're building a friendship with and you start getting feelings, well, that is a whole other ball of wax. I believe your dream is alerting you to where this could be headed. Ask yourself this (and be VERY HONEST with yourself): If you and this guy were hanging out one evening, just you and him, laughing and enjoying the heck out of each other's company... and he snuck a kiss... would you kiss back? If you think you would, you are in the danger zone and your dream is alerting you to this. And that means it's time to make a decision. If you want to remain committed to your boyfriend, you need to stop playing with fire and stop having daily contact with his friend. If you continue the daily contact while these thoughts and feelings begin to grow, you could be opening a Pandora's box you might soon regret: You could wind up hurting your very trusting boyfriend and lose him. You could lose other friends who are none too pleased with this behavior. You could even wind up hurting and humiliating yourself if you eventually let your feelings be known and the friend doesn't feel the same. If you want to remain with your boyfriend, close the lid on this.
You could wind up hurting your very trusting boyfriend and lose him.

I hope this was helpful to Bailey and anyone else who might have had a similar dream!

Have your own sex dream you'd like Lauri to interpret? Email it over to us at