There's A Scientific Reason Some People Aren't Meant To Be With One Person Forever

by Jamie LeeLo

Feel like you're not really the monogamous type? Worried being with one person forever and ever isn't your cup of tea? Not really concerned with finding "the one" like everyone else seems to be?

It COULD be that you're a player, promiscuous and not into commitment. Or it could be science.

The term "sociosexuality," according to Science Of Us, refers to the psychology behind how disposed we are to "casual, uncommitted sexual relationship."

Sociosexuality is the psychology behind how disposed we are to casual, uncommitted sexual relationships.

There is definitely, like all things in life, a spectrum of sociosexuality. Some of us may feel inclined and totally comfortable having multiple sexual partners without the need for romantic strings attached, and others might be on the next bus to Monogamy-ville.


Society and culture today is more inclined to a "one and only one" behavior and attitude, making those of us with unrestricted sociosexuality seem more taboo or promiscuous.

However, it is classified as a personality trait.

People with unrestricted sociosexuality, according to, are more likely to "engage in sex at an earlier point in their relationships, engage in sex with more than one partner at a time, be involved in sexual relationships characterized by less investment, love, commitment and dependency."

In a 2005 study on marriage and affairs, results showed 13.4 percent of men and 9.5 percent of women reported “marriage to one partner, with freedom to have casual sex partners” was preferred over straight, exclusive commitment.

Taking this into consideration, the Journal of Sex Research did a study revealing people with unrestricted sociosexuality were more likely to cheat if they did not feel a strong sense of commitment to their partner.

Additionally, they were happier in relationships where there was commitment and consensual NON-monogamy (i.e. an open relationship).

This was based on two studies led by author David Rodrigues performed on two groups of Portuguese adults raging from 18 to 51 years of age.

The biggest takeaway is that while couples who shared less restricted sociosexuality may have multiple partners, as long as there was a shared commitment to the relationship from both parties, the number of outsider sexual partners didn't matter.

This brings forth a different realization altogether that "exclusivity and commitment are not the same thing."

Exclusivity and commitment are not the same thing.

Mind. Blown.

Citations: The Type of People Who Are the Best Fit for Nonmonogamous Relationships (NYMAG), Restricted vs. Unrestricted Sociosexuality: What Does It Mean? (Hooking Up Smart)