I've Been On Both Sides Of Cheating, And Every Part Is Heartbreaking

by Jordan Lueder
Stalman & Boniecka

Even if there are only hints of your significant other having wandering eyes, the feeling overwhelms you. It possesses you. Not only does getting cheated on ruin the relationship you thought might last forever, but it also damages your ego.

Did you do something wrong? Were you not enough for them? Was that other person better than you?

No. You didn't do anything wrong. You are more than enough, and the person they cheated on you with most likely meant nothing to them.

The thing we fail to recognize at first is that cheating has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with the person who cheated.

It always takes a long time to accept this truth. When we're still hurt from it, we may acknowledge it wasn't our fault, yet we still feel confused. We still want to pinpoint how and why it all happened.

Yet, we'll never truly know and you'll only drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. You can't decipher how someone could hurt you in this way or why — we can only acknowledge that it happened and choose how to react to it all.

I have cheated before. I have been the other woman. I have been cheated on. I'm not afraid to admit it because I have confronted my mistakes and have done my best to learn from them. What I have learned is that you hurt with each one of these acts, and each hurt is different in comparison.

I have cheated before. I have been the other woman. I have been cheated on. And each hurt is different.

When you've been cheated on, the hurt hits you all at once. It's like a wave crashing down on you while swimming carelessly and joyously in the ocean. It pulls you down, further and further until you can no longer see the surface.

Even though it seems like those who cheat or choose to be with someone who is already committed have no heart or feelings, I'll tell you from experience that the hurt lasts much longer for them. It doesn't hit them at once. It's as if they've already been drowning.

They are already in the depths of this same ocean, and they want to pull you down with them. It's a slow, painful guilt that creeps and lurks throughout their lives until they finally admit and acknowledge their wrongdoings.

By being cheated on, I have recognized the hurt that comes with putting trust into another and having it shattered into pieces right in front of you.

We can't change the way others feel about us. We can't force someone to love us, to stay committed to us or to apologize for his or her wrongdoings. It is a path they have to choose to take on their own. When you've been cheated on, all you can do is simply accept that it happened and deal with the hurt.

When you've been cheated on, it's like a wave crashing down on you while swimming joyously.

It sucks. It's a pain like no other. But it also gives you strength like no other. Suddenly, you'll find yourself being slightly more selective with whom you put faith into. This doesn't make you closed off, it just makes you aware.

No person is worth your time if they are not willing to fully admit their feelings for you. No person is worth your time if they can't commit to you fully and whole-heartedly. It suddenly doesn't make sense to waste your time dating others unless they make you feel completely safe and secure in the relationship.

I don't think anyone should give up on love after being cheated on. Someone failed to recognize your beauty and worth. That is their problem, so please don't make it your own.

You deserve a love like no other — a love you feel deep down in every fiber of your bones, a love that no other will compare to.

It took me a while to get over being cheated on, but it has taken me even longer to rid of the guilt of participating in cheating on others. Maybe this is what I deserved. Maybe it was life's way of showing me how I have made others feel.

Maybe it was life's way of showing me how I have made others feel.

No one deserves the feeling of being betrayed by a person we have strong feelings for, despite what our past may look like.

When you're committed to someone, stay committed. Keep your eyes on them, because they and the commitment you make to them will bring you far more joy than a one-night stand ever will.

If you crave someone who is not yours, stay the fuck away. They have something you don't, and you're not going to find it by breaking their bond.

And if you've been cheated on, don't let it break you. Realize the pain is only temporary, and now that this asshole is out of your life, you are free to find the person who will love you the way you deserve.