Reevaluate Your Relationship: Are You In Love With Your Partner Or With Social Media?

by Kendrick Lim

“Oh, Adam’s proposal was so romantic! Honey, you could learn something from him, it’s on YouTube!”

“Wow, Katie and her hubby just went to Santorini for their honeymoon! Look at their Facebook photos! So romantic! Let’s go to Greece for our honeymoon!”

“Come on, smile! Let’s see how many 'likes' we get. I’m sure Helen’s going to comment on this pic.” Don't forget the hashtags #couple #happy #inlove #smile #hungry #cute #instadaily.

Being attached to a partner is an amazing thing for every Gen-Yer. We all love the excitement, the intimate physical contact (not necessarily just sex), the pride of showing your boyfriend to your friends at every possible occasion, the sense of achievement that you get for not being "the girl who needs to get laid," etc. When you are in love, it feels like there's only the two of you in the world.

When your boyfriend remembers your anniversary date, he has suddenly become the best boyfriend ever and is certainly the one you will get married to. When you are in love, suddenly he is sexier than Cristiano Ronaldo, and you would choose sex with him over a $1 million lottery win.

I cannot stress enough how wonderful it is to be in a relationship. But it would be better without the influence of social media. I’m sure each of you reading this now is engaged in at least one social media network. As much as I need to admit that social media benefits each of us greatly, what I tell you next might be helpful for you to reflect on your relationship (past/current/future).


When was the last time you called your boyfriend to talk (nope, WhatsApp/SMS are not considered valid rebuttals)? How much time do you spend communicating with him, compared to time spent scrolling through Facebook or checking who liked/commented on your selfie posted the night before?

Each of us spends a large chunk of our idle time on social media networks daily. It is not wrong to care about how Michael’s new girlfriend looks, or find out how Mandy dressed up for her company's annual dinner or even to stalk your ex. But all these can wait and should be put aside when you are with your partner. I’ve seen so many couples out dining, having greater interaction with their iPhones/iPads than the one sitting opposite them, who also happens to be busy with his/her gadgets. What’s the point?


Is there really a need to check-in everywhere you go with your boyfriend? Do you have to post every single dish you ate with him? Are there no other ways to solve your arguments but to post it on social media, announcing to the whole world that you want to break up with him? Have you ever doubted your intention of doing all these, whether they truly reflect your love for him, or whether you are just trying to gain likes or attention?


Social media is one of the best weapons around to kill relationships. Every person deserves privacy, but social media makes this almost impossible. Suspicion is inevitable whenever there are newly-tagged photos, friend requests, check-ins, etc. Next up will be to stalk that "friend" whom you suspect is "more than a friend," or even more effective, check your boyfriend’s Facebook/text messages.

Being attached to your boyfriend does not mean you must have him on your radar 24/7. If you suspect he canceled your date last night because he was with his new colleague Kelly, why not communicate face-to-face instead of going through his text messages? Would that not be better than crashing his privacy? Whichever outcome it is (whether he was really dating Kelly or not), the trust is broken and this can lead to extreme fragility of the relationship.


Whenever a couple decides that it is time to enter a new phase of their relationship, it is always joyous. They will be keen to share the love and joy around, which is fantastic. Who wouldn't want to do so? Especially for girls, who long for a memorable and romantic marriage proposal from their future husbands, as it will only happen once in your lifetime (hopefully). When did this special, personal moment become a spectacle? It seems like many are trying to please their audience about the effort put into it more than anything else.

When social media comes into play, naturally there will be cameras, recorders, proposal scripts and even professional photographers preparing to capture and to share the moment. When these elements are present, the motive might already be diluted (or even swayed) as now the focus is on looking good and ensuring the proposal is impressive enough.

So what if nobody saw your boyfriend’s effort? So what if his proposal didn't include a Cartier ring that would wow everyone? So what if he was just proposing to you in a random garden and not in front of the Eiffel Tower? So the photo of your anniversary roses didn't gain hundreds of "likes" or compliments on Facebook or Instagram? Romance and love should not be measured by how viral your story goes.

Don't let social media dictate the happiness of your relationship. It only matters how many "likes" you're giving yourself.

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