Everyone Has A Price

What’s your value? How would you price yourself? We're not suggesting that any of you should partake in this particular activity, but hypothetically speaking, if you were to be an escort of some sort, how much would you market yourself for?

We're talking about a certain kind of individual that turns heads and commands attention with every stride. The kind of girl that Elite men would bring on a trip to the South of France to a wedding with their friends. The kind of girl that will be available for an extended period of time and comes out to dinners and parties but is down for whatever, whenever, wherever, however.

If we were to hire such a female (again, just to clarify, we are not condoning this behavior, we’re just saying, these human beings exist) we would add or deduct $1,000 to her value based off of certain criteria.

To Add Value

Packaging

Obviously, appearances are a huge deal when hiring a high-end prostitute. Based strictly off Elite’s standards, this girl would have to be 5’10 around 120ish pounds and beautiful. Not hot, beautiful. She has to have nice hair, dress appropriately and a damn near flawless body.

Accents

We here at Elite have a thing for accents. They instantly add sex appeal to anyone. $1,000 increases to the high-end prostitute with an English, French, or Australian accent.

Hygiene

The girl has to be clean. She has to smell clean, look clean, and have no visual imperfections when it comes to looking put together and well groomed. If you’re paying for sex from anyone they have to be disease free and clean enough to eat off of. No exceptions.

Cultured

We would be bringing this girl out around our friends and colleagues. She has to have been somewhere exotic, experienced situations the average person has not and be culturally educated as well. Don’t forget, we would be bringing this girl on trips with people we want to impress, so why would we ever want to bring a girl who vacations every summer at the Jersey shore and has difficulty pronouncing six syllable words?

Personable

If I’m paying any amount of money to bring someone on a trip with me, I have to be able to tolerate them. I can’t deal with a female who isn’t funny, smart, able to take a joke, etc. Yes, you are essentially paying for sex, but bringing this girl on a high end elite trip, requires some sort of conversation (unfortunately) and I can’t stand someone with an IQ or personality less than mine.

To Deduct Value

Poor Packaging

We don’t do weaves, we don’t do stupid tattoos, and we don’t do cheap clothing. Your heels have to cost more than $100 minimum and your makeup and hair has to be on point. Bad teeth? See you never. What’s the point of paying for sex if the girl looks like a townie at the local mall?

Train Wrecks

We’re bringing you around people we frequently associate with, so we don’t want to be embarrassed of you for railing lines of coke and chain smoking cigarettes on the regular.

Dating History

If you have ever dated a professional football or basketball player, your value drops quicker than Facebook’s IPO. We may not even consider you for the job.

Sexual History

Yes, we understand that you’re a prostitute and you have slept with a multitude of men from all walks of life. That’s fine, we know what we’re getting ourselves into. We just can’t deal if you’ve slept with any of the guys in our circle. The elite don’t share and we definitely don’t do sloppy seconds.

Lack of Hygiene

Obviously. If you look like a grimy streetwalker, it’s a no deal.  Your makeup and hair cannot be a mess and we want your skin to glow. We really don’t think this is too serious of a demand.

Elite.

Photo Credit: Getty Images