I didn't know pooping yourself was a possible side effect of anal sex, until it happened to a friend of mine.
She finally gave in to her boyfriend's constant begging, and boom. She pooped all over the sheets.
She also didn't realize this was a possible outcome and was mortified by the whole ordeal. Lucky for her, her boyfriend thought it was hilarious. They were able to laugh it off and move on with their lives.
But I'M NOT OVER IT.
First of all, I think anything having to do with pooping is hilarious, so this topic tapped right into my sense of humor.
Second, I think this is a fascinating phenomenon that we need to discuss more openly.
So, I went ahead and asked around (yes, there were some very awkward text exchanges involved in this process) to find six brave individuals who were willing to share their experiences with pooping after anal sex.
Read their stories and get aroused, laugh, cry... feel every feeling.
He got a little dirty, but it was worth it.
I pooped myself the first time I ever had anal with a guy. I was mortified; it was all over the sheets and everything. But he gave me great life advice: If you're going to play in the mud, you're going to get dirty. Now I just accept that it could happen, but it's always worth playing in the mud.
— Blaine, 31
Her story is actually just really sad.
My high school boyfriend really wanted to try anal, and finally, I gave in. We tried it on my parents' bed and I ended up pooping all over their white sheets. We washed the sheets, but still couldn't fully get it out. They came home and asked what the obvious giant poop stains on their bed were from. I blamed it on our dog. They ended up putting the dog down, and I still feel so guilty about it.
— Ella*, 22
Dos Toros did him dirty.
Well, the FIRST time I pooped myself from anal actually came from me practicing on a cucumber. I say 'on' a cucumber because I used two bibles to prop it up on my dad's leather ottoman, which he's really anal about (pun intended). Unfortunately, I had just eaten Dos Toros earlier that day, so it was pretty much a doo-doo waterfall all over the fine Italian leather, prompting him to leave my family for a couple months. I proceeded to use my brother's Tempur-Pedic pillow as a new surface, which eventually ended with him moving to Israel to teach English.
— Sammy, 22
This guy had a double whammy.
I once had a roommate who was having gay sex with a really drunk dude who shit himself... twice.
— Jon*, 29
She pooped out the condom.
One time, a guy I had been hooking up with for a while really wanted to try anal. I finally said I would try it, but I regretted it hardcore. We tried it, but it hurt too much, so we stopped. The pain didn't stop for a couple of days after that, which I thought was weird because all of my friends told me it wouldn't hurt for that long afterwards. I also didn't poop at all during those days, so I was getting concerned. I finally pooped, and the condom came out with it. That's where it had been the whole time. Up my ass.
— Abby*, 22
She was leaking for days.
I've never done full-on anal, but while I was in the in the middle of having sex with lube — don't knock it 'til you try it — the guy entered the wrong hole. The lube made him ram into my asshole so fast/hard and at such a weird angle, that I legit had a leaky asshole for days. One day, I was wearing a sundress after that happened. I remember feeling the shit slide out of me and freaking out about whether it would slide down my leg.
— Elizabeth*, 23
*Name has been changed.