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12 Mainstream Celebrities Who Are Surprisingly Kinky

Celebrities all too often try to pretend they're these perfect, non-sexual, crystal clean entities who have never sinned in their lives. But I think it's pretty safe to say that's total bullshit. Celebrities are sex freaks.

Hollywood, despite its sweet-sounding name, is definitely not a town for sweet creatures. No doe-eyed virgin is going to last a minute in show business, despite what their publicists might tell you.

However, there are a few celebs out there who have confessed (or others have confessed on their behalf) to getting a little kinky beneath their 1,000-thread-count sheets.

The flesh on their skin might be flawless, their foreheads might be blissfully botoxed and their teeth might be sparkly, sparkly white, but no amount of juice cleanses can cleanse away their sexual prowess.

And thank god for that, kittens! Because stars need a little sexual energy. It's part of what makes them so interesting.

So, here are 12 gorgeous celebrities you might not have realized are total wild sex vixens:

Kate Beckinsale: Likes To Doodle Dicks

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The ever-talented, stunningly beautiful and gorgeously refined Kate Beckinsale enjoys doodling dicks in her spare time.

Like any fetish, it's a force far greater than her. Recently, she even accidentally doodled a dick on her poor sixth grade daughter's homework.

When pressed, her daughter Lily had to explain to her teacher that her MOTHER DREW DICKS on her homework.

You know, I used to get in trouble for inappropriate drawings all the time. If only I had blamed my darling mum.

Martha Stewart: Likes To Sext

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During a game of "Never Have I Ever" on The Ellen DeGeneres show, Martha Stewart (alongside Anna Kendrick and Snoop Dog) revealed she, indeed, "sexts."

Come on, are you surprised?

Martha Stewart is a modern woman, a mogul and she's been to fucking prison, people. Sexting is as normal as tying her shoelaces at this stage in the game.

Plus, she lives in Greenwich, Connecticut. Don't you know all WASPs from Connecticut are a little ~raunchy~?

I mean, why do you think she's always hiding behind those prim little recipes and pretty flower gardens? She's burying some dirty secrets in those flower gardens, babes.

Anne Hathaway: Has Amazing Sex Rhythm

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Jake Gyllenhaal has never done the horizontal with Anne Hathaway in real life, but he's banged her so many times onscreen, he thinks she has excellent "rhythm."

This is a very undervalued, yet wildly important talent when it comes to the art of sex.

He said, "I recommend getting in bed with Anne Hathaway to any man."

He continued:

I'm lucky. I have had brief cinematic sex with her in 'Brokeback Mountain' and again a number of times in 'Love and Other Drugs' ... There's something about the way Annie and I both work which is inherently very musical. It's all about rhythm. There's a rhythm to writing, there's a rhythm to sports and there's a rhythm to sex.

Annie Hathaway doesn't have that theatre education from The American Academy of Dramatic Arts for nothing!

I guess my own theatre degree wasn't a total waste. I might not be doing theatre that much anymore, but I'm a great lover! Thanks for paying a gazillion dollars for acting school, Mom and Dad!

Heidi Klum: Likes Role Play

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Don't let that blonde hair and firm German accent throw you: Heidi Klum is as freaky as we are.

Ms. Klum even likes to get dressed up and role play with her lovers.

Klum told Marie Claire,

It's good to make an effort to dress up sometimes – to do things outside of the norm. Some people are more experimental in bed and others are more boring. If you are wild and crazy, bring it on so the other person is well aware that you have little devil horns that come out every once in a while.

I'm glad to know the intimidating, vacant-eyed "Project Runway" host is at least exciting in bed.

It's always the ones who seem tame who really aren't tame at all.

Kristen Stewart: Likes Armpit Licking

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Kristen Stewart says she has an armpit licking fetish, known in the medical world, as "maschalagnia."

She might be dating chicks now, but when she was with her ex, Rupert Sanders, she told British Vogue,

My God, I'm so in love with my boyfriend. I wish he were here now. I think I want to have his babies. I love the way he smells. And him me. Like, he loves to lick under my armpits. I don't get this obsession with washing the smell off. That smell of someone you love. Don't you think it's the whole point?

If she thinks boys taste good, imagine how good she thinks girls taste.

Because we all know girls taste better than boys, right?

John Mayer: Is Into Whipped Cream

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According to this article in The Frisky, Jennifer Aniston's friends say "John Mayer likes to cover a woman in [whipped] cream and then lick it off, tease her with feathers, give her goose bumps with ice cubes and role play."

John Mayer has always seemed like a total douche bag, but girls can't get enough of the crooner. And now we know it's probably because he's amazing in bed.

Mystery solved!

Eva Longoria: Likes To Be Tied Up (With Silk Scarves)

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Eva Longoria (like me) enjoys being tied up, only she is posh and ladylike when it comes to her bondage (unlike me).

The actress confessed,

I have been tied up with silk scarves. There's something very sexy about being submissive because your guard is down, you have to totally surrender to something like that.

You know what they say: Dom in the streets, submissive in the sheets.

Pete Wentz: Likes To Make Out With Dudes

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Baby-faced Pete Wentz says he likes to make out with dudes. (Shocker!) He told Out Magazine he considers kissing other boys a "sexual rebellion." 

Hey, statistically, it's not that uncommon for straight boys to hookup with other straight boys. Sexuality is fluid, guys.

Scarlett Johansson: Likes Car Sex

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Scar Jo apparently likes to have sex in cars. She says in this interview with Playboy,

I do think having sex in a car is sexy. If I were in a really raunchy frame of mind and thinking of doing something crazy and kinky and sexy, the back seat would be it.

I get it. Who the hell DOESN'T have truck sex fantasies?

Come on, people, we ALL have truck sex fantasies, or limo fantasies or just basic car fantasies, just like our girl Scar Jo.

Amber Rose: Likes To Make Rich Men 'Squirm Like Little Bitches'

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"I like to take a really rich, powerful man and make him squirm like a little bitch… I get off on that," Amber Rose admitted on "The Amber Rose Show."

Hey girl, power dynamics are hot! I'm all about taking authoritative personality types and showing them who the boss really is around here. No amount of money is going to rescue you from my wrath in my bed.

I guess Rose and I are on the same page. I knew we were kindreds.

Angelina Jolie: Likes Blood

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Angelina Jolie is my personal icon. She's a total political hero and an Oscar-winning actress. And you know what? Girl has a past, too.

And that's OK. All the greats have darkness looming in the thick of their pasts. You don't sparkle like a superstar without having had to kiss the demons, kids.

Not only did Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton wear vials of each other's blood around their necks, but Jolie's blood fetish also started as a teen.

She told ABC's 20/20, "Early on in my first sexual relationship, I got knives out and had a night where we attacked each other."

We're glad you're OK, Angie, but don't worry, we're not judging. We were troubled teens as well (and by we, I mean me).

Jessica Simpson: Is Sexual Napalm

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John Mayer, the baby-faced fuckboy who likes to gossip about his famous sex partners, told Playboy about how amazing Jessica Simpson is in bed.

Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm ... Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.

Um, you know, I'm pretty anti-drug these days. But I wouldn't mind being deemed so good in bed that my exes are totally addicted to me like an addict is to crack.

Carmen Electra: Likes To Be Spanked

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Carmen Electra apparently likes to get locked in handcuffs and spanked with a coat hanger. “A little pleasure, a little pain. It's all about fun,” she said.

I'm not surprised by this, are you? There is nothing innocent about Carmen Electra. I guess Amber Rose isn't really innocent either, but I had to add a few authentic BAD GIRLS to this list, you know.

Because we bad girls stick together.