The other day, I went on a 6-mile hike, got heat stroke, and had to stay in bed for two days straight after chugging water. Real life exercise is not for me. I get bored during yoga, I can't afford a gym, clearly nature is trying to murder me, and group workout classes make me self-conscious.
So what kind of exercise do I engage in? Well, let me tell you: Sex is my exercise. According to Men's Health, women can burn up to 69 calories per sex sesh, and obviously more depending on how long the session goes and how rigorous it is.
So here are some sex positions that can also be used for exercise when you didn't get your daily workout in or if you're afraid of the gym. Because let's face it: Sex is the most fun exercise of all. I mean, I've never orgasmed from spin class, have you?
1. The Wheelbarrow
For this intense sex position, you put your hands on the floor. Then, your partner picks up your legs, and penetrates you from behind. You, my friend, are a human wheelbarrow. If you both are pretty physically fit, he can even walk you around the room while you're having sex.
This position works your arms and abs and allows you to feel like you're in a relay race, which is always fun. My personal guess, though, is that you will not climax in this position.
While your guy lies or sits down on the bed, you mount and ride him from on top. You can also flip it and reverse it for — you guessed it — reverse cowgirl.
In this position, you're in control and doing all the work for a maximum workout. Also, this position is great for achieving orgasm, so you're killing two birds with one stone. And depending on how vigorously you ride your partner, you can get an even more intense workout. Although, if you ride him slowly, you can focus on isolating specific muscle groups in your abdomen, buttocks, and thighs.
3. Planking Doggy
As opposed to regular doggy style, where you're supported on all fours on the bed, this style actually incorporates a plank. While keeping your legs on the bed, you lower your hands to the ground, so you're actually half way off the bed in a push-up position.
Use your arms and abs to anchor yourself as your partner enters you from behind. If you are feeling extra ambitious, you can even do push ups while your partner is penetrating you. This position is truly sexual CrossFit.
4. The Bridge
For this position, you lie on your back and then prop yourself up by pushing your butt toward the air and lifting yourself up with your arms and legs.
Your partner then enters you in a missionary-style position while you try to keep yourself supported. This position targets your abs and butt the most (as you're thrusting them upward), as well as your thighs (as they stabilize you during penetration). This position is bound to leave you feeling sore.
5. Legs Over Head
This sex position is great if you're looking for a good stretch. It's basically like sexual yoga.
You rest on the bed while your parter puts your legs over his head. Your guy can even physically stretch your legs by pushing them toward your body, you know, should you actually want your sex session to double as a massage and physical therapy. While this might not burn the most calories, stretching is a huge part of physical fitness and staying limber.
So next time you're looking to burn some calories, ask yourself which one sounds better: downward dog or doggy style?
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