5 First Date Dating “Rules” You Need To Drop Right Now

by Anjali Sareen Nowakowski
Lauren Naefe

First dates have the potential to be awkward, nerve-wracking disasters.

The possibility of striking gold with the person sitting across from you, though, does exist. With some luck, you'll find yourself actually enjoying their company, thinking about the potential of seeing them again.

For a long time, established societal dating rules (you know, the ones created out of thin air) have often influenced women's actions when deciding how to properly present themselves in person. We've been led to believe that when on a first date, any "disrespectful" behavior could be misread, and can, therefore, ruin your date.

Thankfully, times are changing, and so is the silent acceptance of the dating rules we've been told to follow.

To be honest, they probably should've been ditched a long time ago.

Below, you'll find a list of first date dating rules that you can happily ignore. It's time to throw that rule book right out the window.

1. "Don't Wear High Heels"

In the world of online dating, where people lie about their height all the time, this rule has taken on a new significance.

Women have been told to refrain from high heels to keep from damaging their date's ego. You'll tower over him, with potential to intimidate him or make him feel uncomfortable if you're "too" tall. You may even make him feel less like a man.

And you wouldn't want to do that, would you?

Forget that, girls.

Can we remember it's your date, too? And they are your feet! If you like flats, go for it. Sandals? All you. But if you're one of those women that feels comfortable and sexy when rocking heels, do it up.

Who cares if your date lied about his height and now feels puny in your presence? You shouldn't have to dress down just to spare his feelings.

2. "Don't Dress Too Sexy"

Women are encouraged to be "moderately" dressed on a first date.

In other words, try to not be too schlumpy while balancing out the proper level of sex appeal. Don't let the man think of you as a slob or a slut. Because (obviously) both are awful and women should strive to be neither.

I say you should dress however. You. Want.

In fact, dress for yourself. Always consider the setting of your date, but if dressing super sexy makes you happy and comfortable, do it without a second thought. If casual and comforting is your thing, you can go that route too.

Don't think too much as to what kind of "image" you may be projecting. First date advice that encourages the idea that women should be dressing for other people is simply garbage.

If he doesn't respect you for how you look, he's not worth your time anyway.

3. "Don't Talk About Politics, Religion, or Kids"

There are certain topics that are very common during first date conversation: the weather, your job, and where you're from are just a few from that list. More serious topics, like politics, religion, or having kids in the future are said to be saved for a much later date to prevent from scaring him off.

But since I enjoy saying whatever I want, I'll talk about whatever I damn well please on a first date — and you should too.

If politics, religion, kids, or any other serious topic is something you want to bring to the table right away, do it.

You may want to know what's up with your potential new guy's views on things that are important to you. Conversely, maybe you are just looking to spark up a hot, argumentative conversation because that's your style.

On the first date with my husband, we talked about everything from my prior divorce to my feelings on monogamy.

If he's going to get scared off by parts of your life, he's probably not the guy for you.

4. "Don't Check Your Phone"

While it's generally not a good idea to be glued to your phone while out on a date, pulling out that cellular device to check on something isn't the end of the world, either.

If your career demands a lot of time and attention (and phone usage), don't hesitate to let your date know that. You wouldn't want to get in trouble for missing that important email. It's important to have a hold on your priorities.

It's possible to enjoy your date's presence, but at the same time, don't allow it to hold up any other parts of your life.

If you have to look at your phone, do it.

5. "Don't Sleep With Him"

Similar to the rule about not dressing too sexy, this rule is meant to keep you from coming off like a tramp.

Why should there ever be a rule that takes control over your sex life?

If you don't want to sleep with someone on a first date, you don't have to. You have no obligations and there are no promises made to your date. But if you're looking to get busy, there's nothing wrong with that.

The idea that women should act a certain way to prevent men from seeing them as "easy" is beyond tiring. It's your body, you're an adult, and if he's as into you as you are to him, go have all. The. Naked. Fun.

On the first date with my husband, I wanted to sleep with him right way. I wasn't going to follow any rules about waiting and when we should do it.

The traditional rules many of us are given about first dates are not only outdated, they're downright sexist.

Ignore these first date "rules" and instead, do whatever makes you the happiest.