Sexuality is so freaking complicated. There are so many inexplicable reasons why things turn us on, even if those things are gross, painful, or downright bizarre.
The best part about sexuality is how virtually no act is off limits if the person you're with consents to it. You want to use handcuffs? Do it. You want to have your hair pulled, to be bitten, to be choked? Great. You want to act out a rape fantasy? Awesome. Find someone you trust to (safely) execute that with you.
One aspect of sex where the boundaries can really be pushed is dirty talk. Some people don't like dirty talk, but for others, it is an essential aspect of what makes things hot in the bedroom.
Dirty talk can be innocent (think: "You're so hot," "That feels good," etc.), but it can also be pretty out there — and even the most, er, cringeworthy of dirty talk can be a huge turn on.
I asked some women if they've ever heard a really cringeworthy piece of dirty talk that ended up turning them on. As expected, I got some great responses.
"Call my dick John Cena."
He asked me to call his dick John Cena. I experienced every emotion in the 30 seconds following —shock, fear, anger, curiosity — and then back to turned on. It ended up being a fun night, but I can't look at the actual John Cena the same way anymore.
— Jess,* 23
"I'm Dirty Dan!"
My ex used to say 'I'm Dirty Dan' and would smack me across the face, and then, I would say, 'No, I'm Dirty Dan' and would smack him back. I can no longer listen to SpongeBob without being slightly turned on.
— Marianne,* 24
"Hop on top, baby girl."
My boyfriend told me to 'hop on top, baby girl' once during drunk sex, which made me both cringe and burst out laughing. But it sort of grew on me, and now, he still says it whenever he wants me to get on top (baby girl).
— Allie, 23
"Sit on daddy's lap."
One time, in the middle of sex, a guy very confidently and brazenly told me to 'sit on daddy's lap.' People tend to have polarizing opinions on the word daddy, and I fall into the camp of people who are horrified by it. So you can only imagine my shock. But then, he kept saying it, and he kept calling me a 'good girl' (I know — lots of references to me being a 5-year-old here)... and it ended up being the hottest thing ever.
— Brooke,* 23
"I'm your whore."
This is more cringeworthy in a grotesque, anti-feminist kind of way. My ex would tell me to say "I'm your whore." At first, I was like, uh, f*ck you. But then, I got super into it. 'Dirty whore' was tossed around, too.
— Sarah, 25
"Which hole do you want it in? Pick now, or I'll choose..."
When we were in bed having sex, he said, 'Which hole do you want it in? Pick now or I'll choose it for you.' At first, I thought, 'WTF did he just say/screw you dude,' but after a second, I realized it totally played into my need to be dominated. It flipping worked, because I chose, so I guess he gets a pass.
— Julia,* 24
"I wanna ride you like a horse."
"I may be liberal, but I don't believe in giving your pussy a safe space."
I was dating this guy who I had a lot in common with politically. Talking about politics was kind of our thing. One day, we were sexting, and all of a sudden he hits me with this: 'I may be liberal, but I don't believe in giving your pussy a safe space.' The emotions that followed: complete shock, hysterical laughter, extreme wetness.
— Alexa Rae,* 23
*Name has been changed.