Beating The Odds: How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

by Kara Nesbitt

There are so many reasons why a long distance relationship would not work, especially in your 20s. It’s hard enough to make a relationship work when your significant other lives within a five-mile radius.

Throw another 20 miles, or even another time zone, in the mix and a long distance relationship sounds impossible, right?

What if you are just so physically and mentally drawn to this person that there is no way around a long distance relationship? You have to try to make it work or you will always be left wondering, what if? A long distance relationship can be healthy, fun and one of the best things that could happen to you.

I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but there are exceptions. If you and your partner are both on the same page, it will have the most beautiful ending.

If you are faced with this challenge and need some advice, here are some tips on making a long distance relationship work.

Talk dirty to each other frequently.

This will keep the excitement going and your significant other coming back for more. Step out of your comfort zone, make your partner appreciate you and show him or her that you still want it to work.

Send a sexy text message when you know he or she is in a meeting at work, or send a racy picture of you doing a normal activity like cooking -- naked -- and caption it, “I can’t wait to make you your favorite.” The second you lose the spark is the second your relationship heads downhill, so always keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

Do activities together (even from a distance).

If you have mutual interests like television shows, working out, or smoking the reefer, do these things at the same time.

Talk about them, face time and act like your passing the blunt to each other, or work out together on Skype. Just because this person isn’t next to you does not mean you can’t enjoy things together.

Be positive, and be trusting.

The foundation of every relationship starts with communication and trust. Without this, you have nothing. You should not be with somebody that talks down to you, nor should you be with somebody that you do not trust.

Set the boundaries going into your long distance relationship and there should be no issues.

Challenge each other.

Every month or so, give yourself and your partner a challenge. This could be a personal goal, or a professional goal. A little competition never hurt anyone, and it provides you with something to keep tabs on and discuss regularly.

If the goal is something personal, like learning how to cook, it will have a positive result for both of you when you get together next over a home cooked meal. Who wouldn’t want to have something to look forward to and share?

Keep the competition positive and always be supportive. A challenge also keeps both of you busy, so you’re not doing anything you shouldn’t be in your free time.

Enjoy yourself, your family and your friends.

Do not become a mope and bask in your loneliness. No one likes to be in the company of someone who is constantly on their phone, or someone who so obviously would rather be somewhere else.

Enjoy the company of your friends. Make memories with your friends and be there for them when they need you. Also, do not go out and complain to your friends about missing your partner all the time.

Enjoy your free time and soak it up while you can because soon enough, your relationship will no longer be long distance and you will not have the freedom you do now. Pick up a hobby, go out to the club, and enjoy yourself.

Send gifts to each other.

The best feeling in the world is coming home to flowers or a package with your name on it. Let your partner know you’re thinking about him or her by sending something he or she will love.

This could be a jacket your partner mentioned on the phone last week, or a vibrator with a funny message like, “Think of me when you use this.” Whatever it is, sending spontaneous gifts will make your partner feel special.

Keep the romance alive.

There are so many reasons you need to keep the romance alive. Besides sexting, you should be doing things for your partner’s eyes only. Set a ‘date night’ and wear something sexy, only to take it all off on Skype. This gives you both something to look forward to and keeps the excitement alive, even from far away.

Do not take things too personally.

Sometimes your partner will not be able to answer your call right away, or might miss out on one of your video chat calls. Don’t take it to heart, and let the little things go. Life happens, and we need to be able to give a little to get a lot. If your partner says he or she is busy, be trusting!

Make surprise visits.

Look into your partner’s schedule, and if he or she doesn’t have too much going on that weekend, make a surprise visit. While talking on the phone, saying you are at work or in the bathroom, show up at his or her door. Not only will your partner reap the benefits of this visit, but you will, too.

Avoid excessive communication.

Schedule two days a week to talk about what’s going on in your life, but don’t overdo it. Talking too much does happen and it can have negative effects on your relationship. As much as you want to tell your significant other that you poured a bowl of cereal then realized you had no milk, the play-by-play is really unnecessary.

Stay healthy.

Working out and eating right not only helps you feel better about yourself, but your partner will be thankful, as well. You don’t get to see each other every day.

When you do, I’m sure he or she would like to see that you are staying healthy, rather than letting yourself go. Eat right and stay active. When you two finally get together, that’s when you will splurge.

Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It