6 Serious Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner So You Know It's Real

by Anjali Sareen Nowakowski

It happened: You met "the one." Although you weren't sure if they existed, you feel like you've finally found your soulmate — the person who was made just for you. But, wait. You feel nervous. Is it real or is it just hormones? And does your partner feel the same way? You may be wondering if there are any serious relationship questions to ask your boyfriend to help discern just where the two of you stand.

You're in luck, because there are a few specific things you can ask your partner to figure out if they feel like it's real, too. The thing is, with any kind of serious relationship questions, you need to be prepared for the truth: You may not like what your partner has to say. It may hurt your feelings, or it may shock you. If you are going to dig deep, you need to be ready to hear it all.

If you are feeling like you have met "the one," though, there is a high likelihood that they feel the same way. Asking these questions might just help put some of your natural insecurities to rest. And if it does suck, well then, at least you found out now that it's not what you thought. All the better to get out and find a relationship that is real.

Hopefully, though, your partner is on the exact same page, and the two of you are about to start your happily ever after. Here are six great questions to ask:

1. Do You Feel Generally Happy?

OK, OK, so this one may seem obvious. But the best way to find out how your partner feels about your relationship is to, well, ask your partner about your relationship! An open-ended question like this might not lead you two in any specific direction, but it will let your partner reflect on their overall happiness in the relationship.

And while you're at it, go ahead and ask yourself this question along with your partner. In the best case scenario, the two of you will go, "Of course!" And then, you'll swim along moving happily forward in your relationship. If you don't, though, it may mean you have some work to do.

2. How Often Are You Happy?

Regardless of what your partner says to the first question, you should ask them how often they feel happy. If they answered that they aren't generally happy in the relationship, this question will give you a better view of how unhappy they are. If they answered that they are generally happy, this question will help paint a picture for you of the good times versus the bad times in your relationship.

In a truly healthy, happy relationship, you should feel happy every single day. Now, I know that sounds crazy, but I don't mean every day, the whole day, forever. I just mean that you and your partner should experience moments of joy together at least once every 24-hour period.

If you and your partner start to feel like you rarely feel happy, it may be a sign that things aren't as real as you think.

3. Do You See A Future With Me?

If you think someone is "the one," you'll likely naturally want a future with them. Do they want a future with you? The easiest way to find out is to ask — point blank.

Although you might feel nervous about this question and think you will be putting your partner on the spot (and you might be), the truth is that in order to find out if something is real, you are going to need to have serious and sometimes tough conversations. If you are looking toward a future with your partner, tell them. And see what they think about it.

A couple where both parties are on the same page about their future together is a couple who will do well moving forward.

4. Are There Any Areas You Think We Can Improve?

This is a big one: Even if you and your partner are totally happy together, and you barely have any arguments, you need to find out if there are any areas that you might be able to work on.

Just because it seems like there are no issues, doesn't mean there aren't any. It's unrealistic to think that two people can get together and not have a thing to work out between them, so it's likely that there are at least a few small areas of improvement bubbling below the surface.

If what you have is real, the two of you will be able to talk about this openly and honestly. You might even get some insight from your partner that you otherwise wouldn't have had.

5. Am I Doing Anything Hurtful On A Consistent Basis?

This is another question that may be hard to hear, but if your relationship and love are real, it's worth asking your partner if you are doing anything hurtful to them on a consistent basis.

Maybe that joke you love making really hurts their feelings. Or maybe that thing you like to say in public about them isn't as funny as you thought. Whatever it is, getting to the bottom of an issue like this will help you assess the future health and possibilities of your love.

In the best case scenario, your partner won't think you are doing anything consistently hurtful on a regular basis, and you'll feel the same way about them.

6. Do You Feel We Can Talk About Anything?

Can the two of you openly and honestly discuss absolutely anything? Does your partner feel like they ever have to keep anything from you, or do they feel like you'll be accepting of them in every way?

This is a critical question to ask of a relationship that you think is the one and only relationship for you. In a healthy partnership, discussing even the most difficult topic should feel like nothing and the two of you should be able to bounce back easily from hard conversations. If your partner feels totally comfortable talking about anything with you, the two of you are on a good path.

They say when you know, you know. Often, that's true, but that doesn't mean the minor relationship insecurities we face go away over night. If you want to make sure you and your partner feel the same way about whether your relationship is real, ask them these six questions to help you figure it out.

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