7 Married Couples Reveal The Secret To Staying In Love
In a world full of dating apps and people on the hunt for the next best thing, the idea of spending the rest of our lives with someone we love deeply can seem like a shattered fairytale that no longer exists.
It's almost too far-fetched to imagine meeting someone we'll stomach the energy and the desire to want to see past date three — let alone after 10 years.
So what's the secret to staying in love and having a lasting relationship? What makes your bond solid over time, and what makes it fall apart instantly?
Read this advice from couples who've been married for 10 years as they admit the number one secret that's making them falling more in love with each other every day.
Time spent apart
My husband and I spend one week a month away from each other. Not by choice, I just travel a lot for my job and it's usually up to a week every month. We call that our reset time. It honestly makes us miss each other, and it's really good for our relationship. Every time I come home after the week away we have a nice fancy dinner together and catch up. It makes me eager to see him again.
— Shelley M., 37
The only reason my relationship with my wife has survived over 10 years and three kids is because we over-communicate. We don't play games. We say how we feel. We talk everything out. We literally never go to bed angry, which sounds cliché but is the truth. Because of that, we hardly fight for more than five minutes. We resolve everything fast. We're always on the same page. We know everything going on at every moment.
— Tom P., 32
Having things in common
The reason my wife and I fell in love in the first place is the same reason we're in love 12 years later: music. We both love going to concerts and learning new instruments. It's something we have in common, and something we're both excited about. We're very similar and it works well for us because there's always something to share between us.
— Craig M., 35
Many, many fights
It'll sound crazy, but I've been married almost 10 years and one thing that's kept us in love is all of our fights. We fight a lot. Sometimes those fight last for days, and once or twice, a week. It works well for us because it shows us we still care. If we didn't care, we'd bow out of the fight and the marriage. The fighting lets us both know we're in love and we're angry at the same time, which is completely normal.
— Emma J., 37
Looking at your offspring together and being so proud of them makes the love push on throughout the years. It's also a good reminder that we need to set a positive example for our kids, so we're constantly making sure our relationship is healthy. Some people say kids ruin their marriage, but I really think kids help make a marriage and love between the parents stronger.
— Laura V., 34
We take care of ourselves
My wife and I make sure we do things for ourselves so we keep the love between us beating on. We have a babysitter on speed dial, vacations planned months away and weekend getaways where no kids are allowed. It's important to have alone time together, and to make sure you're planning fun trips down the road so there's something to look forward to.
— Michael C., 40
People always think love has to be so complicated. It doesn't. The truth is, it needs to be familiar. My husband and I have known each other for 15 years and have been married for 11 of them. We have our early morning ritual where we wake up and talk about what we're grateful for. We write each other love notes for lunchtime, and before bed every night we kiss and remind each other one nice thing. All of our rituals keep us in constant focus of the love we've built up over a whole bunch of years.
— Debby R., 37