4 Signs You Should Keep Your Relationship Long-Distance (For Now)
You are in love with this absolutely incredible person who lives a few time zones away.
You get completely swept away by your SO every time you meet, and you can't get enough of him or her. It's so romantic and so different from everything you've experienced before.
You are seriously thinking about moving because you can't stand being so far from your partner.
Now, stop and take a breath. Before you pack your suitcases and book your flight, you might want to consider a few things.
Here are some signs you might want to stick to the distance for just a little bit longer:
1. You don't know each other's expectations.
Leaving behind everything you've ever known is a huge sacrifice. If you are going to make it, you have to make sure it is 100 percent worth it.
When you give everything, you expect to get a great deal back. Make sure both you and your SO are aware of these expectations.
If you expect to have the other person support you financially after you move, you have to discuss that in advance. If you are only willing to relocate if you get married, make sure to specify that.
Don't assume the other person can read your mind. Talk about your expectations and make sure you both are on the same page.
Otherwise, you will feel robbed and deceived, whereas your partner will likely feel manipulated when you throw, “But I sacrificed everything for you!” into his or her face.
2. You haven't met each other's families.
Getting to know your partner is fantastic, and chances are high that after being apart for quite some time, you will want to do nothing but get lost in each other.
However, as your relationship progresses, meeting each other's families and friends becomes equally important.
You will never truly know the person until you know where he or she is coming from. Studying his or her natural environment and discovering behavior patterns running through the family can save you a lot of trouble in the future.
You don't want to move across the world just to find out your SO hangs out with criminal-minded individuals, or that every family holiday turns into a huge scandal.
Also, keep in mind that if you are the one moving for your partner, you will most likely have to interact with his or her family on quite a regular basis. Make sure you don't lock yourself in with people you hate.
3. You don't have a financial plan.
When you are swept away by the euphoria of infrequent meetings, you don't think about the money too much, and you talk about it even less. However, moving abroad often means losing a job, which, in turn, means losing an income.
Before any of you decide to relocate, you need to understand how you are going to survive as a couple.
Can one of you fully support the other one, at least during the transition period? Do you have enough savings to keep you both afloat for at least a few months?
How likely are you to find a job in the area you are moving to? Can you secure that job in advance? Will you need a work permit? How long will it take to get one?
These are all questions you want to answer before you buy a one-way ticket and wave goodbye to your friends.
4. You haven't stayed together for longer than a week in a row.
Nothing hypes your senses more than a few months of separation from the person you love. When you finally meet after a long period of anticipation, you are so high on life that you start wondering if feeling so good is even legal.
Usually, this exhilaration mellows out after a few days, allowing you to think straight and assess the situation (and the person) realistically. However, if you never see each other for longer than a week in a row, it means you never really get to see your SO in your sober mind.
It has been scientifically proven that a brain in love behaves exactly like a brain drugged by cocaine. You don't want to make life-changing decisions being high.
Ideally, try to spend at least a month together before you decide it's time to cut the distance short. If there is anything that bothers you about your partner, it is better to find out about it early.
Eventually, any long-distance relationship needs to evolve. If you truly want to be together, one of you will need to move sooner or later.
It's a beautiful feeling to finally reunite with your SO after months or years of struggling with long flights and time difference, and knowing you don't have to separate anymore. However, it's also a huge step.
Don't be afraid to take this step. Just make sure you know exactly where you are putting your foot before moving forward.