Without its difficulties, life would carry out in a flat-line manner: static, boring and uneventful. Where is the fun in that? While the struggle may be real, and there may often be bumps in the road, we would otherwise have no motivational reasoning to consciously work to better ourselves.
There are struggles we must experience in our lives, not only as individuals, but also when we are part of a pair, in a relationship.
Couples learn from their disagreements and grow as they become accustomed to compromise. They can rediscover their love for each other after working together to resolve their relationships.
But, there is one hardship that, if experienced, means you may not be ready to commit yourself to someone else: hindrance.
Carrying a burden is the same as lugging around a giant boulder. We all know that relationships should lift us up instead of bring us down, but have you ever noticed how difficult it can be to discriminate between these two concepts?
Every relationship has its issues, but are the hardships in question teaching you lessons and deepening your value to each other? Or, are they tearing you down and ruining your relationship?
A solid relationship should not make you feel like you are being held back. It should not slow you down or distract you (too much) from other aspects of your life. Instead, it should encourage you to thrive in each and every role you hold.
Aim to finish your work so you can spend time with your partner. Strive to be successful at your job so you can surprise your significant other with a special gift.
When your relationship drives you to be the best you can be, it is a good thing — so long as it is not the sole reason you dream and achieve.
This relationship should be an extension of you, not another item to add to your laundry list of priorities. It is completely normal and understandable to be busy as a 20-something. We have school, jobs, internships, budding friendships, exercise, Netflix and so much more.
But, of all of the things that consume our waking hours, the most important is to still work on figuring out ourselves. Self-discovery is something that only time and effort can produce, and even then, it is not always as easy at it sounds.
It requires a focus that we sometimes have to save for ourselves instead of a relationship. Still, we jump and then proceed to fall when it comes to the search for love.
We tell our significant others, “We can cross that bridge when we come to it,” if we see potential red flags in the future. I hate to say it, but upon inevitably arriving at the aforementioned bridge, it's more common to burn it than traverse it.
A non-hindering relationship should make us feel like we are floating in the sea; there may be some rough waters, but we never are pulled completely under.
When we begin to thrash and gasp for air, it quickly becomes too much for us to handle. We have to refuse to let hindrances drown us.
Some people can add love into the equation and make it work. Others try to do so and then crumble under the pressure. Some are so ignorant to everything that isn't their partner, they practically stop living.
A girl may not care that she has a kink in her neck from keeping it craned while she constantly texts her long-distance love, but life is transpiring in front of her negligent eyes. That hindrance speaks volumes.
If we feel like our reins are being pulled, the moment they are released, we take off in a sprint. Once we are no longer in a relationship that was wasting our time instead of enriching it, clarity and productivity ensue.
Eventually, we come to conclusions formed from our observations. We ask ourselves whether we are loving to the fullest capacity. And if we are not, we are holding back every party involved in the relationship. This is fair to no one.
So, we must wait, and then we must proceed with caution. We must hold off until we know that we are taking part in a relationship that encourages and inspires.
A relationship that makes love songs understandable and does not take away from our own lives but rather, adds value to them.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It