It's common to get a little tongue-tied when you're feeling butterflies about somebody, which is why it is great to have some questions to ask your crush on-hand. It gives them something to talk about, and it takes the pressure off you to say something funny, flirty, or so mind-blowingly adorable that they'll immediately ask you out. Because that wouldn't happen anyway. Plus, having some questions to ask your crush also helps you feel them out as a person. And most importantly, it helps you figure out whether or not they're into you in the same way you're into them.
One of the delights of flirting is interpreting all of the many possible signals that anyone is sending you at any given time. It's easy to cater to your insecurity, but if you're sincerely interested in getting to know your crush, put that aside for now. No one is going to think you are weird for taking an interest in them, and if you are forthcoming about wanting to spend time with them, it's honestly flattering AF. Just think about how you'd feel if someone were throwing all of this attention on you. Pretty good, right?
Here are some questions to ask your crush if you need to find out whether they are thinking what you've been thinking, too.
1. What Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
You don't want to just immediately leap into asking your crush whether or not they're even single right now. Ease into the conversation by asking them what they have planned for the next week or weekend. If you're seeing them earlier in the week, ask them what they were up to over the last few days. If they mention going on a date or hanging out with their girlfriend, then you've probably got a pretty good read on where things are at with them right now.
If they mention that they're just hanging around their house or working on projects, you're probably still not going to have a good grasp on what their situation is like. But if they casually mention a gathering they are going to of some kind, or a new bar or restaurant they were planning on checking out, then you might get a hint that they are crushing, too. Trust in their delivery on this one. If they are talking to you with interest and openness — or even extending an invitation — then it's safe to say that even if the crush isn't mutual, there's room for additional exploration.
2. Are You Seeing Anyone Right Now?
If the first of the questions to ask your crush left you just as clueless as you started, then I think it's acceptable to ask them whether they are dating anybody. I admit, it can be a little bit of a bold move, but it doesn't have to be. People love to talk about their relationships and tell stories about their dating. If your crush is seeing someone right now and launches into a long description of who they are and what they do, then it's time to start looking for a new crush.
But if they say no, if they say they're on Tinder but haven't found anyone serious, or if they say they're dating a couple of different people but nothing's really clicked, bingo. This is a great way to commiserate about dating and swap stories, which is basically the most low-key form of emotional flirting and has happened at the start of pretty much every relationship I've ever had.
3. Would You Want To Hang Out Sometime?
Endlessly speculating whether or not someone has a crush on you can drive you to your limits, so if you're still not clear on where they're at based on how they've responded to their questions, just ask them out already for goodness' sake. Abandon all the rules about who ought to initiate what. Everybody is a little bit insecure about approaching people, even if it is only as new friends.
If you and your crush are already hanging out all the time already and talking constantly, then I also think it's totally fine to ask them something like, “Have you ever thought about us getting together?” It's sexy, it's open, and if you are feeling confident, it's probably not going to steer you wrong.
And if they reject you after all of that, just assume that they weren't worth your time. A crush a day keeps the doctor away, and you'll find your way to another one soon.
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