What Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Before Recommitting To A Relationship

by Megan Mann
Evgenij Yulkin

It seems as if every time we turn around, a new day is trending. There's National Pizza Day, National Napping Day, National Doughnut Day, Siblings Day, Best Friends Day and so on and so forth. It goes on until the days start to melt our brains, and we run out of hashtags. Thankfully, amid all of that nonsense — though I fully recognize food appreciation days — there is something important to look at.

May is a special month. It's both Mental Health Awareness Month and, less commonly talked about, National Recommitment Month. What's National Recommitment month, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. According to Relationships Counseling in Miami, it's the time when we look back on the goals we set back at the beginning of the year regarding our health and well-being, and we evaluate where we are with them. It's also typically where we evaluate the relationships in our lives and the role we play both inside and out of those relationships.

As a generation, we're stereotyped as being reflective and introspective, often analytical to a fault. We're also super invested in our relationships both romantically and platonically, and we are quick to do what we can to make them better. So, it almost goes without saying that this is the perfect month for Millennials.

No matter what type of relationship you're in, whether it's still fresh or you've been together for years, this is a great reminder to look at your relationship and see where the two of you stand.

If you're still in a relatively new relationship, you can look at where the two of you are. You can see if this is still the place where you want to be. Ask yourself where you both stand on what's important to you. Do you see eye to eye on the important aspects of a relationship, such as intimacy, affection and how you handle conflict? If you're not seeing eye to eye on those things, it might be time to reevaluate whether or not the relationship is right for you.

If you've been in a relationship for a slightly longer time, talk to your partner and see if you're heading in the right direction. If you're still in college, ask yourself if you see you and your partner heading in the same direction as college goes on or post-graduation.

If you're no longer in school, look at whether or not you and your partner want the same things or can deal with being in different stages of life. If your partner is finding success and you're not (or vise versa), make sure you're both OK with the way things are going. Find out if you have the support you need and the same for your partner.

Say you've been together even longer. Do you and your partner find yourselves looking at different paths? Do you both want children, or are you split on that choice? Do you see yourself getting married to that partner? If not, is it the right relationship for you, or is there something you can do to get to that point? Are you both clear on your financial situations?

If you don't speak the same love language (gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch), how much are you compromising before you're not getting what you want? Is it equal in how you treat one another?

While there are plenty of questions to ask about your relationships, there are also important questions you need to ask yourself. They aren't just about your romantic relationships, but your friendships as well.

Sure, your relationships are important, but what's more important is how you personally feel in them and what you bring to them. Are you being the best partner and friend you can be? Are you being supportive, caring and empathetic?

Are you paying more attention to that person or your phone when he or she is trying to talk to you? Do your friends trust you and know they can come to you? Do you let your partner know how much you love him or her? Do you ask your partner what you can be doing to make things even better?

In essence, what can you do to improve your own well being and increase the value of the relationships in your life?

Taking care of yourself and your relationships is important. You want to water the plants of love and watch them grow as time goes on. Setting goals for yourself and your relationships — whether it be better communication, a more concrete date night, a standing get-together with your closest friends or spicing things up in the bedroom — is important. Talk about your goals, and hold your partner or friends accountable as much as you are for following through.

We all want to surround ourselves with love and appreciation. Take the importance of this past month's focus on recommitment and evaluate the love in your life. Encourage yourself and your loved ones to create goals and see them to fruition. Don't settle for anything less than fulfilling love.