My ex and I were together for just over a year. It was the longest year of my life. We got off to a rocky start because honestly, I don’t think we should have been in a relationship in the first place. But because life happens, the relationship continued. It was fast, deep, and a whirlwind of emotions, just like our sex life. In fact, I knew from the get-go that as a couple, we wouldn’t work long-term. But I was passionate, the sex was great, and we both needed someone at the time. Even though I knew in my heart it wasn't going to work out, I still gave it my all. I wasn't looking out for the signs that prove you need to walk away from your relationship.
I tried to change their mind and behavior with regard to certain things. I ultimately put way too much of myself into the relationship. I lost sight of the fact that my gut had told me that it wasn't worth it in the long run.
After a lot of heated arguments, stubbornness, and learning about each other, we finally started sailing down a smooth path. Then, we coasted for a while. Things seemed to be going well.
But as time went on, I started to notice that the way we communicated wasn’t getting any better. The red flags I had once ignored were now glaringly obvious to me, a well as everyone else in my life.
Read on for five major signs that it may be time for you to walk away from your relationship.
1. The emotional connection was not the same as it once was.
There was a point when I realized that during the entirety of our time together, we never had a true emotional connection. No matter how many talks, desperate pleas, tears, or big emotional hardships we had to overcome, I never felt like we broke through the surface.
If you feel cut off from emotional intimacy, you may begin to “crave so much more than what you are currently getting from your partner and the relationship,” Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, previously told Elite Daily. If you communicate how you’re feeling to your partner, and they aren’t receptive to opening up an honest dialogue, it may be time to consider walking away from your relationships.
2. My gut was telling me something was off.
When I knew it was time to walk away, my intuition was practically screaming at me, but Ignored it for so long before I finally listened. From the outside, we seemed great. We always got compliments from strangers in public who praised our great energy as a couple. But on the inside, everything else felt forced, stressed and tense. I wish I had listened to my intuition earlier. “You can still love someone and know that they are no longer the person that you want to be in a relationship with,” Leckie said. “you need to just have an honest conversation with yourself.”
3. I was going through the motions of my relationship.
It can be easy to prematurely take the next step in your relationship — moving in together, adopting a dog, getting engaged — because it seems like the logical thing to do. In my case, my partner and I moved in together because of financial reasons. We also believed moving in together could help us strengthen our relationship, but it didn't. There was never a true foundation for us to build upon, and it seemed like all the effort we put into the building was way too much work. Looking back, I see that the relationship was a house in shambles. It had missing support beams, no roof, and mismatched materials. “Give yourself time to reflect on the problems,” dating coach and relationship expert James Preece previously told Elite Daily. “Take a step back from the situation. You might see things in a different light.”
4. I felt lonely, even when I was with my partner.
I can't count how many times I silently cried myself to sleep. There was so much emptiness inside me, and I just couldn't shake it. I was lonely in my relationship, and it was the worst feeling in the world. We had the same talk about the same problems so many times. "You start thinking about the next chapter of your life, including immediate and long-term plans that do not include your partner," Leckie said. "You’ll find yourself excited about what life has in store for you." If life with your partner is beginning to feel more isolated than supportive, and a future alone seems more fulfilling, it may be time to walk away from your relationship.
5. There was no respect.
Respect is key to any relationship. If you no longer feel respected by your partner, it's time to reconsider your future together. And if you feel like your feelings are getting belittled, your opinion doesn't matter, or you can't express your thoughts, consider reaching out to friends, family, or a professional for help. It might be time to reevaluate what you want and where your relationship is going. "Disrespect is a red flag that there is an imbalance of power in a relationship,” Laura Holtz, writer, and advocate for domestic violence awareness, previously told Elite Daily “A respectful relationship is one where there is a conscious effort to maintain equilibrium."
I do believe I learned a lot from my last relationship, and my ex was only meant to be in my life in order to teach me something. I grew, moved on, and now have a stronger sense of what I want. At the end of the day, I believe that walking away from my relationship is the best decision I ever made because I realized the relationship was holding me back from so many things I wanted for myself. Remember: Your happiness is important. Don't let anyone take it away from you.
Additional reporting by Iman Hariri-Kia.