The Unbearable Pain Of Being His Option And Never A First Choice

by Alexa Mellardo

Have you ever experienced the complete and utter tragedy of being an “option” in a guy's life, instead of his first choice?

If you've found yourself trapped in this heartbreaking situation, you know the pain can be completely unbearable.

Why can't I be his number one girl? Choose me, me, ME.

I see the contestants of “The Bachelor” go through this on a weekly basis, while my gal pals and I passionately glue ourselves to the TV.

Who will go home?

And more importantly, who will win Nick Viall's heart this week and end up with a beautiful rose?


Last night, we found out Rachel Lindsay gets sent home, after the news broke she's going to be the next “Bachelorette.”

I felt totally conflicted. Obviously, I'm super excited she's going to be on “The Bachelorette.”

But how could it be Nick didn't pick her?! It was so apparent how much chemistry they had.

“The Bachelor” himself wrote a heartfelt message on Instagram:

Saying goodbye to Rachel was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life.

He also included, “I have met very few people who possess as much beauty, grace, and charisma as Rachel…”


UM... WTF, NICK?! Then why the heck didn't you pick her?

And if Corinne makes it further than Rachel.... so help me LAWD.

But I digress.

These girls on “The Bachelor” are all pretty damn awesome in their own ways. It's clear they each bring something different and unique to a relationship.

If you have chemistry with the main man of the hour, I can't even imagine how unbearable it is to be sent home.

Heres's what it feels like to be an option, and not his first choice.

It's truly heartbreaking to not come in clutch as a guy's number one choice.

I mean, you fell in love with him and poured your heart out to him. You thought he loved you, too.

It's hurtful.


The pain can be so damn oppressive.

It's embarrassing.

It's a punch to the ego. You can't shake the fact that you're annoyed AF.

What did he see in the other girls that makes them more special than you seem to be?

It's frustrating.

You gave it your best shot; what more could he want?

Overall, you're confused.


You have that general “WTF” feeling.

Where did we even go wrong? How did I let him play me?

You can't help but be super critical of yourself.

Although I love to watch the endless drama (and sometimes VERY corny romance) unfold, there are so many reasons I would never, EVER want to be a contestant on “The Bachelor.”

It's a guessing game, and you're always left questioning the guy's motives and love.

I mean, the dude has a house filled with 30 beautiful women, and he gets to date all of them.

First off, I always want to be a guy's number one choice... not an option out of 30 women.

I would never want to feel as though I can easily be replaced. I deserve way better than that, and so does every girl out there.

Secondly, “Bachelor” contestants fall irrevocably head over heels for this dude. They take him to meet their FAMILIES, for Pete's sake.

He's number one in their eyes. But to him, they're all options.

We all deserve to be a first choice in a man's eyes, and not a convenient option he has when his other ladies aren't around.