The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone Who Will Never Love You Back
Love is the best teacher. From it, you will learn more than you could possibly ever learn in a classroom or from a book. The reason for this is rather simple -- we feel more when we’re in love.
Human beings learn through their senses as well as through the way they process and interpret the information taken in by those senses.
When we find ourselves in love, the chemicals released by our brains paired with the emotional sensations we experience allow us to experience life in hyperdrive. We feel more alive and take in more of the world around us.
Being in love is the greatest high on the planet. It’s the most natural of highs, as it’s produced by our own bodies, as well as being the longest lasting high on the planet.
It increases our senses and allows us to both take in more information and process that information under a more positive light.
Our imaginations tend to get the best of us when we’re in love, creating alternative realities where our fantasies are born. Love helps us both focus more on the world around us while basically forcing us to spend more time in our own heads.
Until you fall in love, you don’t know what it means to live. Well, to be more exact, until you fall in love and have your heart broken, you don’t know what it means to live. Furthermore, until you have your heart broken, you won’t understand what it means to truly love.
As human beings, we learn best from loss. We come to understand the importance and value of both people and things, by losing them.
Sure, we can imagine how it must feel to lose a person we love, but until we actually lose, or are at risk of losing, this person, we never fully understand how important he or she is to us.
We learn by losing. We learn when we are beaten by others, when our best efforts aren’t good enough, when we don’t make the cut, and when we fail. Success is no teacher. In fact, success can often do more harm than good -- especially when it wasn’t worked for or earned.
But loss… when you lose something, you instantly become aware of the now vacant space in your life that was once filled with something beautiful -- even if that something beautiful was only the dream of having that which you now know you won’t have. And it hurts.
Love can teach you just about everything you need to know about life. For example, it can teach you that sometimes no matter how much you love a person, that person simply won’t love you back.
It can teach you that there are many levels to loving and that each and every person loves a little differently. It can also teach you that sometimes you have no choice but to love someone who will never love you as much as you love him or her.
We often talk about unconditional love, as if it were a real thing. The truth is that there is no such thing as unconditional love; we all love conditionally. However, having someone love you back is not one of those necessary conditions.
In fact, we often fall in love and continue to love those who don’t love us back as passionately. We all love that which we can’t have, and if we find someone that doesn’t want us it only makes us more desperate to have that someone.
That’s a bitch, ain't it? You fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and knowing he or she is trying to push you away only makes you want to latch on tighter. The more that person tells you he or she doesn’t want you, the more your imagination concocts ways of making that person fall for you.
I speak from experience… as people, we are capable of chasing the person we are in love with for years and years on end to no avail. Every time we are turned down, we fall in love a little deeper. Or so we think.
Most of us have a difficult time distinguishing between romantic love and love itself. Romantic love is more a sort of obsession than it is anything else, and it’s romantic love that makes us want that which we can’t have.
Romantic love is what turns our imaginations on high and makes it impossible to start thinking about that one special person. The best part of it all is that we love being in love romantically, no matter how much it hurts.
Being in love with someone who will never love you as much as you love him or her shakes you to your core, but you love it. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts. It hurts a whole lot. At the same time, it makes you feel more alive. It makes you feel more "in the moment."
It opens you up to a side of life and a side of yourself that you didn’t previously know existed. It’s the sort of pain that you never forget, but at the same time look back at with a sort of fondness and sense of nostalgia.
There’s a fine line between pain and pleasure. Romantic love walks that line.