If you get group of guys together, at least one of them will tell a story about a crazy ex. Going through your war story about your crazy ex is like a badge of honor to us. To go through that craziness and survive is amazing in and of itself, but what I found out is no matter how that relationship ended or what the guy did, men always support each other.
We depend on each other to tell one another that we were right and they were wrong because no one else will. But are people born crazy? OK, that's a stupid question. Let me rephrase it. Pertaining to women and relationships, can a girl be naturally crazy, or is it something she becomes after past experiences?
As much as men would like to think it's the first option, the honest truth is every girl labeled as “crazy” has had a sponsor or two. And by "sponsor," I mean somewhere along the line, they met someone who f*cked them over, leaving them on the defensive with every relationship that comes after. Some are defensive with good reason, while others let it be their downfall.
I had a friend of mine tell me about his “crazy” girlfriend who was always hacking into his phone and/or laptop every week, and it was starting to annoy him. Now, privacy is a delicate situation in any relationship. On one hand, if you practice monogamy in your relationship, then you should have nothing to hide. On the other hand, privacy is still privacy, and should be respected as such.
So, I could see where his frustration was coming from. The problem was, she was hacking into his phone and laptop because that's what he used to talk to other girls. Emails, text messages and all his social media outlets were connected to those devices, and it was the bust of a lifetime. There was no way he could get out of that. The best he could do was confess and continue the relationship, if she allowed it.
They did just that, but there was no trust left, so they called it quits. Three months later, he was telling me all the crazy things she used to do. Even though I knew what he had done, I was still providing that shoulder to lean on. Now, imagine how she'll be with the next guy as a result of this relationships. Suspicion would be an understatement of what's going on in her head, and who does she have to blame for that? Not herself, that's for sure.
Some women could be regarded as the greatest detectives on the planet. I had an ex-girlfriend who would put together pieces of an imaginary puzzle and formulate a story about where I'd been and who I was with. Crazy 101, right? Wrong. Let me tell you why.
First of all, if you're completely innocent of any wrongdoing, then it doesn't matter what she comes up with because the truth is gold. With that being said, 99 percent of any scenario she could come up with is complete speculation. It's that one percent that ties everything together, and that one percent is called a lie.
Men lie. Period. It doesn't always have to be the “No, I'm not sleeping with her” lie, but even the most minuscule of white lies can get you caught. So, when you feel any pressure; you can unravel her whole plan. She has one shot to connect the dots. The same girl asked me, “When was the last time you talked to *insert woman's name here*?” My initial thought should have been, “How do you know who this person is, and why are you asking about her?” But because lying was quicker and easier, I just said a random number in front of the word “months."
She knew the answer before she even asked me. She had dates and text messages the whole nine. The wild thing about it was, me and the woman in question weren't even texting anything explicit. It was a straight “Hey, how are you doing?” type conversation. Now, could it have been taken a step further? Of course. But even though my intentions were wholehearted, the perception was painted and I was Vincent Van Gogh.
That one lie set off a whole interrogation. Who is she to me? Why would I lie about that? You haven't changed at all, have you? These were just some of the questions being thrown my way. The whole time I was just thinking how she crazy was, but I never thought about what pushed her to that point. Crazy 101? More like Sponsor 101.
Now, let's bring it all full circle because, as a man, I feel like I have to defend my own. Not all men create crazy women. Some people are just born to love hard. That could range from breaking your back to make sure your partner is happy, to letting paranoia build up and hiding in the trunk of a car to see if they're doing what they said they were going to do.
Sometimes passion can be confused with crazy, and vice versa. I've had a knife waved in my face and threatened to penetrate my flesh all because my ex, and I quote, “Loved me so much.” This had nothing to do with trust issues or her past relationships. This was who she was when she came into the relationship. Over time, I've come to the conclusion that I don't have to approve of something to understand it. That's just how some people are, and oddly enough, they always seem to find someone right for them. Maybe we should take notes.
So, for all the guys who say, “I don't date blondes because of blah, blah, blah” or “I don't date black girls because of this, that and a third," let's just take a moment to think about who molded these women to be that way.
Sure, it could be done out of passion, but it was most likely a past experience that triggered her actions. The advice is funny, the stories are unforgettable, but the next time you talk about your crazy ex-girlfriend and why you'll never date girls like her again, just remember she might have had a sponsor. And it might have been you.