There's nothing worse than losing someone you love.
But what if they came back? Why does society not prepare us for the magnificent return of our unrequited love? Is it because it's impossible?
No, it's because it shouldn't happen. People get away for a reason and it's best left at that.
I met Lewis this time last year. It was clear from the start we had something special. I wanted to talk to him all the time, I made up any excuse I could to send him a message. I threw not one, but two housewarming parties so I could invite him to my place. He seemed to like me too. We flirted, we talked, we became pretty good friends. But we just never had our moment. He had family issues and was moving come September and I was sorta seeing someone else at the time.
So the summer ended, Lewis left and he took my heart with him. I really believed that it was all over. I convinced myself that it was just a silly crush and the next time I saw him, if I ever saw him again, the feelings would no longer be there.
I was wrong. He came back and we wasted no time in getting together. He even went so far as to tell me I was a big factor in him wanting to move back to town. Of course, I was flattered.
So there I was, finally together with the one I loved and had secretly pined for. He was the one I had drunk-cried to my friends about, and now he was mine. I could barely believe it. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I'd done it: I'd defied the odds of our situation and I'd gotten the guy.
Well, we just became like a a regular couple, right?
There was a reason Lewis got away. We weren't supposed to be together. We were too different. We wanted different things. He was a neat freak: an organized, self-controlled type. I was messy and clumsy and liked to do random spontaneous things.
But the real problem was that I'd played out every scenario in my head, so real life just didn't compare. I never daydreamed about our petty arguments. I fantasized about hot, passion-filled nights. Obviously, these scenes didn't include his awkward sex grunt or premature ejaculation problem.
It sounds stupid now, but it never occurred to me that Lewis was a real person with actual flaws. This perfect guy seemed so perfect to me because I didn't know him. I'd built up a fairy tale in my head and unfortunately for Lewis, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't live up to it.
And according to him, neither could I. To him, my sarcastic comments became pessimistic, not quirky. My habit of spilling food all over myself at meals went from cute to annoying.
Subconsciously, we idolize the ones who get away. We only see the best in them. We yearn and lust for the idea of someone instead of who they really are. We imagine what life would be like even though we've got no idea how things will go.
It makes me sad to admit, but maybe Lewis should have stayed the one who got away. If he had, perhaps I'd still think of him fondly and not cringe whenever I hear his name. Because in my mind, the one who got away was a handsome hunk with a terrific back swing, not a control freak with a penis the size of a spring roll.