Let’s be real: Most media (and the male gaze) has made us think that sex has to include some form of penetration. But the truth of the matter is that you 100%
do not need penetration in order to have a roaring good time in the bedroom. In fact, more and more folks are realizing how fabulous sex can be without P-in-V or D-in-B — you just need to get a wee bit creative.
To help get those sexy wheels turning, Elite Daily chatted with sex educator and Ph.D. candidate
Javay Frye and psychotherapist Rachel Wright. Both shed some light so that you can shed some clothes. (Or not! With non-penetrative sex positions, it’s totally up to you.)
In the mood for a high-thrill ride?
In this position, one partner sits behind the other and wraps their legs around them, almost as if they’re forming a giant bear hug.
“The person in the back can then stimulate the chest, play with their partner’s genitals, or give a sensual massage,” says Frye. The end result is a pleasure-filled, intimate experience that allows the receiver to kick back and enjoy.
Missionary may have a reputation as one of the more boring sex positions, but it can actually be an incredible way to foster intimacy and closeness with your partner. Outercourse Missionary accomplishes a similar energy exchange to missionary, but you know, without the intercourse.
“The positioning is just as simple as it sounds: Find your way into missionary, clothes on or off,” says Wright. “Next, kiss while you grind, hump, or find whatever feels best for your bodies.”
Known to some as “titty-f*cking,” the lube and boob isn’t just for teenagers. If you or your partner has a penis and/or boobs, the Lube and Boob can be an excellent way to watch one another experience pleasure from an entirely new angle.
Have a penis-owning partner sit on one partner’s chest, then apply lube to the space between the breasts of the person laying down. It’s a fantastic sensation for the penis owner and a sexy view for the person on their back.
OK — so this isn’t a sex position
per se, but it is an extremely erotic way to connect with one another’s bodies. Take turns laying flat on your stomach, while one partner sits on top of the other’s butt or alongside their body. (Whatever feels most comfortable to you!) Use massage oil or a hot massage candle (NOT a regular candle) and lube up your partner’s back.
Remember: This is a sexy massage, so don’t be afraid to slowly start massaging your partner’s genitals. The relaxing element of this position can put the receiver in a deeply receptive state, which adds some fun power dynamics to playtime.
Booty lovers to the front! Wright notes that this position is a fun way to explore anal play without any full-blown penetration. To execute the Cheeky Monkey, one partner lays down on their belly on a bed or other flat surface. The other partner can lay on top of them so their genitals are against their partner’s booty.
If you have a penis or strap-on, you can lube up and slide in between your partner’s butt cheeks. Wright adds that she thinks this position is best when the person on top is facing the feet of the person laying down.
Let’s be real: 69 isn’t everyone’s favorite position. For some, it can be awkward or unrealistic to lay on top of one other. Enter, side-by-side 69. In this position, both partners are in 69 positions, but laying on their sides.
This allows you to spend less energy trying to prop yourself up, and more exploring one another’s pleasure points. And remember: If you have trouble multitasking, you can take turns going all out. Find the best rhythm that works for you.
eclipse_images/E+/Getty Images Mutual masturbation can be hot AF. If you’re looking to explore your voyeuristic (and exhibitionist) side, this position might become your new fave. You and your partner both sit directly across from one another and masturbate while watching one another.
“I love this position because it gives both partners front-and-center views as you devour one another’s pleasure with your eyes,” notes Frye.
A variation on the position above, criss-cross applesauce takes mutual masturbation to the next level by having you and your partner straddle one another. You still get the satisfaction of playing with yourself, but you’ll also get that skin-on-skin contact that can help you exchange one another’s erotic energy.
If you’re looking to add toys to the mix, Frye notes that this position works extremely well when paired with a flexible, double-ended dildo.
Sporking is the new spooning! To execute, have one partner lie on their back and place their elbows and hands underneath them so they’re at a slight angle.
Have the other partner lean over and use their genitals, mouth, or hands to pleasure the partner laying down. It’s also a super easy position for incorporating
sex toys, so don’t be afraid to get crafty with a vibe of your choice.
Similar to The Looking Glass, the Toy Test Run involves mutual masturbation, but with a twist. Challenge one another to buy the other person a sex toy — whatever you think your partner might like. Then, gift one another the toys and take turns using them on yourselves… and then each other. Not only can this be a fun game for your relationship, but it can also teach you both more about new pleasure points and how to communicate your sexual desires. (And adding to your sexual toy box is pretty fun, too.)
Regardless of what you try, remember that sex positions do not need to include anything fancy. The key is for you to experiment and find what feels good for you and your body — penetration totally optional.
Experts: Javay Frye, sex educator and Ph.D. candidate Rachel Wright, psychotherapist Don't miss a thing
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