I was raised in a happy family, and my parents never used to quarrel. They were happily married, and every couple would admire them. After a few years, things changed in our family, and my parents started fighting all the time.
It was a sad moment for me because I loved being part of a family in which there was peace, love and unity. I really learned a lot from my parents, and I promised myself that one day, I would make sure my relationship worked as well as their marriage used to.
If you experience one or two failed marriages, that doesn't necessarily mean your future relationship will be successful. You may think you've learned from the past, but you'd be surprised to know many people repeat the same mistakes in multiple relationships.
To have a successful relationship, it means that as a couple, you need to learn new ways to love. We all have the ability to love, but do you have the capacity or the powers to avoid and overcome the challenges in your relationship?
The answer can be yes or no, but it will only depend on how seriously you take your relationship.
Here are the seven steps to a happier relationship the second time around:
1. Take your time.
Rushing into unions is one of the factors that can make your relationships fail. It's important you spend a sufficient amount of time getting to know your partner in the relationship. For a relationship to last, it must progress steadily.
Family conflicts, financial status and the general demeanor of a person is always revealed over time. You should give yourself time to understand your partner on both good days and bad. Your partner should complement your life, not complicate it.
2. Understand there are different stages in a relationship.
In any loving relationship, there are stages. In the beginning, you spend all of your available time with your partner. With time, that infatuation or lust will simmer or reduce. Then, mature love, admiration, respect and trust comes in.
However, lust can appear from time to time. Feelings toward one another can evolve to something that is more sustainable and long-lasting than the lust that used to exist. Times change, but true love will remain intact, no matter the challenges you face.
3. Create goals individually and as a couple, and remain committed.
Having goals as an individual is vital to a successful relationship. It is not wise to depend on someone else's goals, ambitions, focus and determination. It's dangerous if you're not focused or don't have your own ambitions.
Both of you should also have common goals and objectives if you want the relationship to grow. In addition, remaining committed to these goals is another key to a lasting relationship. That way, you can work on building a future that is prosperous and satisfying.
You may have goals and expectations, but if you aren't committed to them, your relationship won't last. You both need to put in the work if you want to achieve what you expect as a couple.
4. Learn how to forgive, and never stop dating.
For a relationship to last, you must learn to always forgive one another. Never go to bed angry. You shouldn't sweat the small stuff, and you should learn to overlook the little issues that don't affect your relationship in the long run.
You should also remember to never stop dating your partner. Romance demands continuous dating, and it will remind you of why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Doing activities together at home should be a priority because it will foster the relationship.
5. Learn to value privacy, and assess your relationship often.
Privacy should be the first thing to be guarded in relationships. No relationship will last if privacy is not valued.
You should also try to check in with your partner as much as you can. You shouldn't just assume your partner is happy or doesn't have any issues he or she wants to address. Ask your partner if he or she has anything to discuss, and make sure your partner feels comfortable sharing his or her feelings.
You might decide to avoid asking your partner how he or she is doing because you want to avoid confrontation. Keep asking each other what is affecting your relationship, how one another is feeling and what you should do to keep your relationship moving forward. Love and relationships can become complicated if these issues aren't addressed regularly.
6. Learn each other's love language.
In order to feel loved and appreciated in a relationship, you must understand each other's needs. Make sure your partner feels comfortable, and don't ignore what he or she needs from you to make the relationship lasting and fulfilling.
7. Seek counseling before relationship hits a dead end.
If a couple wants a prosperous future together, counseling is important. A counselor is able to understand both of you, and he or she can point out what's damaging your relationship. A counselor also gives out realistic and possible solutions. This will be an opportunity to adjust and address possible future challenges.
For a long-lasting and satisfying relationship, just follow the seven tips above. We all know life can get complicated, but you can work through these relationship problems.