Men Reveal What Makes A Woman 'High Quality'

There are lots of things I'd describe as "high quality."

Cashmere is a high-quality fabric. A Rolls Royce is a high-quality car. The Paper Mate Profile is a high-quality pen. (Go write with one right now, and tell me I'm wrong.)

But, you see, these are all things. "High quality" is not a way to describe a human being — it's a way to describe objects.

Obviously, that doesn't stop the internet from doing it anyway.

In a recent Reddit thread, men were asked to describe what they picture when they think of a high-quality woman. I know you're dying to know their answers, so I have them here for you.

Here's how to be a high-quality woman, according to a bunch of loser internet trolls:

Make like a dog, and do what you're told!

Be young! DO NOT age past 30!

Be skinny!

Love these two extremely specific things!

Be witty AND charming!

Even if you're legitimately upset, suck it up, and pretend like you're happy!

Be the "girl version" of a nice, rich guy!

Don't have an STD!

Have pale skin, and NEVER get a tan!

Possess this entire laundry list of qualities!

And also this one!

Wear cool clothes!

Make like a servant, and be willing to please him!

Have hobbies he approves of!

Be hot!

Be perfect!

Be like his maid, but also, have a nice vagina!

Like sex, but don't like it too much!

Just to be clear, none of this actually matters, and only cars and sweaters can be described as "high quality."

So, PLEASE, do not take any of this to heart.

Citations: What makes a woman "high quality" to you? (Reddit)