Okay, let's face the facts: We have all denied our feelings to ourselves, and it sucks. The main reason we do it is because we believe that if we lie to ourselves enough, eventually the lie will become true. Unfortunately, it's not so easy.
Numerous times in my life, my feelings have gone unreciprocated, and there is really nothing worse than completely putting yourself out there only to be shut down.
It hurts. It really, really hurts. But, many of us have created a system of denial to help ourselves cope with the object of our affection's lack of interest.
I'm not talking about getting over a breakup or a serious relationship here — that's a different story. I'm talking about the guy you've hooked up with, gone on a few dates with, had an amazing time with... but he's, "just not looking for anything serious right now." K, bye.
There are stages to the proceeding process of denial that are meant to help alleviate the mental distress of being snubbed. Thus, there are eight lies every women must tell herself in order to conquer the stages of rejection because therapy is expensive and this is way easier:
Lie One: Deny That The Feelings Ever Existed
This lie begins on the tragic day that your pseudo-significant other told you to back off a little because he's not trying to date you. Your immediate response will be to play it cool, even though your insides are burning.
"Oh, okay. That's fine." But what you're really thinking is, "ARE YOU KIDDING!? YOU LOVE ME; YOU WILL LOVE ME. WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME!?"
You will exit his apartment building with a heavy heart and wipe a few tears from your eyes before telling yourself, "Whatever, I'm only crying because he embarrassed me by assuming I even liked him. I never said I liked him, and, I mean, I don't. He was okay to hang out with sometimes, but I never liked him. Why would I like him?"
Lie Two: Claim You Didn't Want Anything Serious, Either
"A relationship? With you? HA, I don't want a relationship with anyone, let alone you. I love myself more than I could ever love anyone else, so why would I be trying to date you? I thought this was casual, too..."
"I'm way better off single," you think as you blast "Ridin' Solo'" by Jason Derulo. You will listen to the song twice and be in this "I RUN SH*T. I DON'T NEED NO MAN" mindset. But, by the third listen, you're back to square one, wondering why he doesn't understand how amazing you are. It is SO OBVIOUS.
Lie Three: Completely Exaggerate "What An Ass*le He Was"
It's the next night, and you and your girlfriends are rehashing the events. You have to explain: "He was honestly a douche. He was so rude to me. The sex? IDK, it was fine, but I don't think he even cared that much about whether I enjoyed it... I know, right? That is so inconsiderate."
Meanwhile, you know you are lying through your teeth... and it was some of the best sex you've ever had. You're mainly bitter because you can't have it anymore, but it's fine because no matter what happened, HE SUCKS.
Lie Four: You Can Handle Casual Sex Because You're "Over It"
A few more days have passed by, and you've found yourself in this weird limbo period. You know you like him but also know he has no intentions of getting serious. You then contemplate the possibility of being friends with benefits:
You and everyone in your direct circle of friends knows you think your body is a wonderland, and continuing the sex will only make you 10 times more likely to go full stalker status on this guy.
Lie Five: He's Not Sleeping With Anyone Else
You have now become more rational and admitted to yourself that casual sex is probably a slippery slope you won't slide down well, so you've moved on to one of the favorite lies. You now tell yourself he's not hooking up with anyone else: "No way is he sleeping with her, right?"
He can't be sleeping with anyone else because no one will ever compare to you and all your glory. He knows that, so he doesn't want to set himself up for disappointment. You are over it -- you are, you swear. It's just the principle of the thing.
Lie Six: Pretend He's Dead
You now know he is probably -- by probably, you mean definitely -- sleeping with other people. F*ck.
So, the most logical explanation on your road to recovery is that he has died. Yes, your former lover died a tragic, tragic death and it's so sad. But, this also explains the lack of communication between you two.
Lie Seven: Maybe You Guys Can Be Friends
Three to four weeks have passed by, and now you have acknowledged that he has either arisen from the dead or never died, and maybe, there is potential for you two to still be friends.
People can have sex and go back to being friends, right? That's not weird, and it definitely won't be awkward. You wouldn't get jealous! HA, what is jealousy?! Not you! You're as relaxed as they get. You're... "Where is he in that Facebook picture? Who took it? Oh. How did he meet her?"
Lie Eight: "Whatever, I'm over it"
Month two has arrived, and you finally realize you cannot be friends with him because it just won't work. So, you have to tell yourself and all your friends how "over it" you really are.
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