I was in a long-distance relationship my freshman year of college with my boyfriend, who was still a senior in high school at the time. I was in Boston and he was in Los Angeles.
It was, to put it lightly, an absolute nightmare that resulted in two broken hearts, a lot of long nights, expensive plane tickets, and both of us cheating.
Long-distance relationships can work, but they require respect, patience, and deliberate attention. You have to go out of your way to make your partner feel special every single day, otherwise, you can fall into the dreaded "out of sight, out of mind" territory. It's difficult, but with the right person and the right tools, it's worth it.
But what's the secret to making a long-distance relationship successful?
1. Verbally Talk About When You Guys Will Be Together
"While you can't be together in the moment, the key to any successful long-distance relationship is trajectory," Rogers says. "When will you guys finally be together? Where are you going to be when that time arrives? What will it look like? Feel like? Be like?"
While you don't exactly have to be naming your kids yet, you should make it clear that the both of you are struggling through the distance for a reason: In the end, you two will have a real future together.
She continues, "Talk about that daily, if possible. The more connected your futures are perceived to be, the stronger your present will feel."
So make plans for the future, make decisions as a pair, and try to figure out long-term goals as a couple. That way, you remain relationship-minded despite the distance.
2. Show Them Virtual Intimacy With A "Thumb Kiss"
Roger says, "There is an app called 'Couple' that is meant to keep couples close while they are apart."
The way to use the app is pretty easy and, frankly, pretty cute:
Download the app, and you two can 'thumb kiss,' meaning you place both of your thumbs on the screen, and the other will see it. When they touch, your phone will vibrate.
"Cheesy? Yes. But it will make you two feel closer!" Rogers continues.
Can I have that app with my dog? Imagine if my dog could put his paw up to the screen and we could kiss each other! Oh my gosh!
Sorry, I'm getting off track. But obviously, when you're in a long-distance relationship, you lose the little forms of intimacy, like hugs, hand holding, and kisses.
By downloading Couple, you'll be able to show your partner you care throughout the day. It's a cute surprise that is bound to make both of you smile.
3. Video Chat While Doing Something Mundane
Part of being in a relationship is getting used to doing normal, everyday things with one another. For example, he starts seeing you in your face mask, or he starts to pee with the door open.
Real-life things make you feel close to one another, and when you're long distance, you lose those tiny, special glimpses into your partner's life.
To counteract that, Rogers says, "Peek in while you are both doing your mundane chores. One can be cooking in their kitchen while the other is doing laundry in their living room.
While it's not the most "romantic" thing, Rogers says it can ease the struggle of being apart.
So, FaceTime your guy while you're taking the dog for a walk. It's an endearing reminder of your day-to-day life together.
Bonus: Make Time To Keep Things Sexy
O-Cast is an app that allows you to receive oral sex... via your phone. Basically, your partner licks the screen of their phone, and the motion is saved to their phone as a vibration pattern.
Then, your partner can send you their distinct cunnilingus motion via text, which will be picked up by the Lovense "Lush" Vibrator through Bluetooth. You can then experience the sensation of oral sex from your partner through the vibrator, without them actually being there.
Technology, right? How did long-distance relationships survive without it?
Do you have any long-distance relationship survival tips? Let me know in the comments.